


Safe and Secure

by ADashOfStarshine (ADashOfInsanity)



Category: Magic: The Gathering
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Office, Discussion of past abusive relationships, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2020-06-26 15:24:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19771051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADashOfInsanity/pseuds/ADashOfStarshine
Summary: What happens when you take dozens of extremely magical people and trick them into working boring office jobs? In his great and all-knowing wisdom, the owner of Planar Gate Security Solutions has done just that.And no one is more magical, or more bored, than the members of the firm's Help-Desk Team - "The Gatewatch". Join Jace, Gideon, Nissa and Chandra as they puzzle out the mystery behind their mundane lives, and perhaps get into a little mayhem along the way.Modern Office AU - Multiple Pairings. Cameos from most planeswalkers.





	1. The Dinosaur in the Room

The ringing.

The ever-dreadful ringing.

It pierced through the room like a knife. Boring into the ears of each of its victims as they gazed with fear at the bloody light, issuing from the devices that kept them bound to this torturous existence. The siren continued, shrill enough to wake even the dead from their slumber. But soon, one by one, they breathed a collective sigh of relief when they realised the bell tolled not for them. All except for one. One poor soul who was forced to pick up his handset and recite the dreaded dirge.

“Good morning. You have reached the help desk of Planar Gate Security Solutions, keeping the multiverse safe and secure since 1993. Jace speaking, how may I help you?”

Relief passed through the office like a breeze, rustling the houseplants and stirring the ever-present mugs of coffee. Chandra went back to trying to peer over her computer at the large package which had appeared on Gideon’s desk overnight. Unfortunately, his broad shoulders and powerfully muscular arms, though quite the sight, were blocking the view of whatever mysteries this package had in store for them. Perhaps it was just personal post? However, Chandra couldn’t fathom what was so important that Gideon had to send it to work rather than his own apartment. No one in this team ever sent packages to work. They weren’t foolish enough to draw the attention of the over-eager postmaster on floor five. No one had the time and energy to be dealing with them.

“You have indeed reached the Gatewatch,” Jace recited, “Please could I have your name and customer ID?”

Whoever had nicknamed them “The Gatewatch” needed a good smack. It was a common consensus within the office that this name was ridiculous corporate branding that wasn’t worth the cheap acrylic it was printed on. It was also really dumb. Yes _,_ the company was called Planar Gate Security Solutions. Yes, as the customer-facing representatives, they needed a catchy name. But The Gatewatch was stupid. They didn’t watch any gates. They mostly watched their screensavers bob up and down their screens as they pretended to look busy.

“Thank you, Ms Huatli, how may we help you today?”

Jace’s voice sounded so fake. To be honest, all their customer service voices sounded fake. Even Nissa, when she managed to get the words out, sounded like a completely different person with a headset clamped over her pointy ears. Said pointy ears were currently decorated with a pair of dream-catcher earrings that really brought out the green in her eyes. Chandra gave her a little wave as Nissa noticed her gaze, which had a tendency to wander in the elf’s direction. She merely frowned in confusion, gave a small wave in return, before going back to shuffling plant pots around her desk.

From the work station to Chandra’s right, Jace gave a little splutter, drawing the attention of the entire office.

“Forgive me ma’am,” he said, his false-cheer even more obvious in his newfound surprise.

“Did you just say… dinosaurs?”

He winced. It was a Code F grimace. The woman on the other end of the line was clearly Furious

“Yes, yes, I understand,” he said a moment later, “Unfortunately, mad bow-wielding women breaking into your conservation site, isn’t covered by your-“

He stopped talking abruptly. He gently pried one side of his headphones away from his ear. Chandra could hear how loudly the woman was yelling from here.

“Please, Ms Huatli!” he tried, “May I suggest calling the police? I’m afraid the fault here doesn’t seem to be with your Planar Gate Security Solutions product, but with the bow-wielding lady who broke into your property and let out all the dinosaurs.”

Everyone in the office was now listening in. Gideon wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it. He’d spun round on his chair and was actively watching Jace as he floundered with his very angry caller.

“We do not have the facilities to deal with escaped dinosaurs. You have my sincerest apologies,” Jace continued after a lengthy silence, “I, err, will put you through to our legal team? Please hold.”

He reached forward one trembling hand to dial in the extension for the legal office, before putting the phone back with an overly-forceful thunk. Groaning, he leaned forward on his desk, drawing his hood up over his head before putting his face in his hands.

“You coped with the situation admirably,” said Gideon, as if Jace wasn’t his manager and thus he needed to be the motivational speaker.

“We may not be able to tend to every customer’s needs, but we can do the best we can with the information available,” he continued.

Jace gave a Code G grimace. The one for well-meaning but thoroughly unasked-for Gideon advice.

“I have good news,” Gideon stated, getting to his feet and towering over their desks. He took out one of the dry-erase pens from his shirt pocket and walked over to the battered whiteboard that had been rolled next to Liliana’s desk. Liliana had been gone for three months now, but no one had stopped calling it that. They hadn’t even stolen her stationary yet. Chandra had been eying her mug for at least two of those months, but, as she told Nissa frequently over lunch:

“I get the creeps when I go over there, you know? Like she might turn up the moment I set my fingers on her fancy mug.”

Gideon wheeled the whiteboard back into the centre of the room, wiping off a drawing of a smiley face that had been there for at least a fortnight.

“This afternoon,” he continued, “We have been invited to take part in series of mandatory team building activities.”

Chandra and Jace groaned loudly. Nissa merely frowned but her discontent was clearly just as intense.

“How is it an invitation if it’s mandatory?” Jace muttered, “Besides, _who_ said it was mandatory?”

There was a brief glimmer of hope in which Chandra and Nissa prayed that he was about exercise his much-neglected authority. However, Gideon shut that thought as swiftly as it had arisen.

“Ajani,” he stated, as if delivering a solemn truth, “Are you going to be the one to disappoint Ajani?”

 _No_ …

They didn’t have to say it. What kind of monster would disappoint Ajani? What kind of terrible person would disappoint the man, well, leonin, who believed in you more than you had ever believed in yourself? How could you ever face him? How could you live with yourself after seeing the gentle disappointment in his one remaining eye? He would probably say something about how he understood your nervousness and the pressures you must be facing right now. But deep down, you knew he was disappointed in you. That he expected more. That he would go back to HR and say ‘so-and-so’ didn’t complete their mandatory team building activities, and they would all sigh and rush to get him a cup of tea. He’d probably worked hard on all the activities too. Then the entire HR department would gossip about those fiends on the Help Desk who had dared resist their well-thought-out plans. How could they, they would say, those arseholes disappointed Ajani!

“I guess we start after lunch,” Jace said, “Half one.”

Everyone dully murmured their agreement.

Needless to say, no one particularly hurried back from lunch. Jace was thankful for the queue in his favourite coffee shop – The Black Rose, an independent place where the drinks were excellent but getting a seat was murder. On the way back, he walked down Ivy Lane, cutting through the park where Gideon always took his lunch-time runs. Sure enough, there he was, unnecessary sweat-bands and all. Jace took a moment to appreciate Gideon’s powerful thighs before getting distracted by the tiny dog that bound up to him and began yapping excitedly around his ankles. He stared nonplussed at it for a moment before a cry of “ _Mowu! Mowu, here boy_!” took the dog’s attention and sent it scampering back through the park.

The office smelt like poptarts when he arrived back. The door opened with its usual series of beeps and a mechanical clank, the lock on the door rather excessive considering they all had keycards. He followed the smell to Chandra’s desk, where she had sandwiched the sugary construct between her hands, and was promptly rendering it into barely-edible goop.

“Want one?” She offered him a hand full of cake-bits and icing.

“I’m good thank you,” he replied, “I just-“ He gestured at the extra-large coffee in his hand.

“Do you eat food?” Chandra demanded, shovelling sweet goo into her mouth, “Like actual solids? Or is it just coffee?”

“I do,” he insisted, “Just, not right now.” He hastened back to his desk before she could throw any more accusations his way. 

Nissa slipped back into her seat bearing a glass teapot full of herbs and a small paper bag containing sandwiches. She idly browsed on her phone as Gideon loudly made his way back into the office, puffing a little as he buttoned up his work-shirt, having clearly changed on the way in. Chandra winked at Jace as she realised that he too was appreciative of the view.

“Team-building?” the manager suggested, getting warily to his feet, coffee still in hand.

There were general murmurs of assent as everyone scooted their wheelie-chairs to the centre of the room, dragging their heels on the carpet as they went. As soon as they formed a semblance of a circle beside the whiteboard, they noticed something was wrong.

“Who put Liliana’s chair here?” asked Chandra, looking between the others.

The tall-backed chair was indeed in the circle with them, as pristine as the day she’d left it, still with her gauzy black cardigan draped over one arm. Everyone looked at each other, giving non-committal gestures. No one seemed to want to own up to the fact that they’d tried to include a team member who wasn’t there. It didn’t really matter, but it was certainly odd.

“Well,” said Gideon, “We can use it for our supplies.” He dumped the package Chandra had seen him open this morning on the chair. A single red beanbag flopped out of the large envelope and landed on the floor with a rustle of beans. They stared at it like a snake had just popped out into their midst.

“I’m not sure what that’s for,” said Gideon, “However, the instructions were quite explicit as to what our first three bonding activities must be.”

He drew from the envelope a blue clipboard with several pieces of paper attached. Clearing his throat, he read out the page before him.

“Activity One,” he proclaimed, “Employees must come up with three facts about themselves. Two of these facts must be true. One of these facts must be a falsehood. The true facts may seem too extraordinary to believe or the falsehood may seem too believable to be a lie. One by one each employee will state their three facts before the other employees. They must then guess which of the three is the falsehood.”

He frowned deeply at the paper.

“Employees will be given five minutes to think of their three facts.”

Gideon looked up at his colleagues.

“Well, let’s do that then.”

Now, each member of the Gatewatch assumed they knew pretty much everything there was to know about themselves. However, as soon as anyone asked them to come up with three facts, they suddenly lost all recollection of their own personal experiences. Had they ever done anything with their lives? Did they have interests? Who were they really? Their minds spiralled into a deep pit of doubt as they struggled to think of anything they’d ever done that was remotely true or false. Five minutes came and went without anyone volunteering the slightest bit of information. Chandra kicked at the wheels of her chair, whilst Jace absentmindedly picked at his own nails. Gideon was frowning at the ceiling tiles, his gaze mirrored by Nissa who was mostly staring at escapee strands of her own hair.

“Does anyone have anything?” Jace inquired tentatively, “Anyone want to go first?”

The air conditioning whirred overhead. Nearby, a trolley trundled along the bumpy carpet.

“Anyone?” Jace tried.

“You’re the manager,” Nissa pointed out softly, her gaze now fixed on Jace. That fact was undeniable.

“Yes, I think it shows good managerial spirit to go first,” Gideon commented. Jace pulled a disgruntled expression but relented fast.

“Fine, but you must promise me you’ll take a turn after me,” he said, “In fact, let’s go clockwise.”

That meant Gideon was next. Revenge perhaps, for insisting that he should go first. Jace took a deep breath, paused for a moment, then stated:

“Three facts, ok,” He knitted his fingers together in his lap and glanced around at them all, as if he’d come to some sort of therapy meeting.

“One, I got my tattoos when I was fourteen. Two, I can’t swim. Three, I once accidentally knocked the Head of R&D down the stairs.”

“He’s still pissed off with you about that,” Chandra commented, “So that’s got to be true.”

There was a moment of thoughtful silence.

“Isn’t it illegal to get tattoos under the age of eighteen?” Nissa suggested, “That has to be the falsehood.”

Jace merely shrugged.

“I like to think you can swim,” said Gideon, “Otherwise it was very irresponsible of me to drag you to the pool.”

Nissa and Chandra shared an amused look. Oh for the days when Jace was trying to impress his co-worker by joining in his fitness routine. Gideon had been impressed, but Jace had swiftly discovered that he could not survive merely on coffee and vending machine chocolate as part of this new lifestyle. He’d almost drowned, very nearly suffocated, and dropped a weight on his foot, thus ending all enthusiasm for every element of the gym.

“I know he pissed off the Head of R&D,” Chandra insisted, “Everything he does pisses off the Head of R&D. _Everything_.”

Gideon put a hand to his chin in contemplation.

“So either he can swim, or he didn’t get an underage, and possibly illegal, tattoo.”

“When you say it like that ,” Chandra mused, “Jace is way too much of a nerd to break the law!”

“Thanks, I guess?” Jace didn’t seem sure whether that was a compliment or not.

“Yes, I think you’re right,” said Gideon. He glanced at Nissa, who nodded.

“We think your lie is the one about the tattoo,”

Jace sat back in his chair, shaking his head.

“Wrong. I did get it when I was fourteen. It was a dodgy place; they didn’t care what age I was. And I can swim.”

Chandra pulled a Code J grimace – the ‘I hate it when Jace is right about everything’ frown. She had expected something juicer out of this honestly. Sure, the illegal tattoo thing was kind of risqué, but swimming? Really? Jace must have done something interesting with his life!

“Your go,” he informed Gideon.

Gideon frowned.

“One. Last week I saw a wild hydra on the city limits. Two. I have two cats named Salt and Pepper. Three. I like to swim in the sea on New Years’ Day.”

That was a hard one, even harder than Jace’s because they didn’t know one of them to be true. There was a very real possibility that there were hydras past the city limits. To be honest, there was a very real possibility of hydras in the city too, but those were supposed to be in labs or zoos. Gideon was a great at planning things, but his imagination was a bit lacking. Maybe if he did have two cats at home, he would name them Salt and Pepper. They seemed like very Gideon names for cats. Yet then again, of course he would be one of those people who flung themselves into cold bodies of water during Winter just to prove he could. So, which of those very convincing statements was a lie?

“There are a lot of hydras outside the city,” Nissa commented, “I have seen them around the edges too.”

“Can we go see them sometime?” Chandra asked eagerly, “I’ve always wanted to see a real-life hydra!”

“Perhaps.” Nissa went back to gazing at her lap, “They are exceptionally dangerous.”

“I think it’s the cats,” Jace stated, “I don’t think you spend enough time in your apartment to look after two cats.”

Gideon nodded sagely.

“Indeed, I do not yet have cats,” he conceded, “But one day.”

He turned to Chandra.

“Right, my go!” she said. Now she didn’t have to go first, she actually seemed eager about taking her turn.

“One. I used to hide under the mats at the end of sports to sneak out of class early. Two. I refuse to eat any form of shellfish. Three. This is the only proper job I’ve ever had!”

Once again, they didn’t know enough about her home life to tell which of those statements were false. There was one however, they were fairly sure of.

“I think this is your first proper job,” commented Nissa, “It’s my first proper job too.”

“What defines a proper job?” asked Jace.

“A regular schedule?” Chandra suggested, “I mean, a place you have to go to, on routine, dressed nicely, and follow a lot of nonsense rules made by faceless entities from on high? Somewhere covered in security passes and paperwork. Proper corporate stuff.”

“By that reasoning, this is my first proper job too,” said Gideon.

“Same,” agreed Jace, thoughtfully, “To think of it, didn’t we all start at the same time?”

There were murmurs of assent from around the circle.

“Liliana was later,” Gideon continued, “I didn’t think she’d go full time but, well.”

They lapsed into silence, each staring down at their feet or the carpet beyond. Somewhere outside, a bird cawed loudly and bus honked at passing traffic.

“She…left.” Nissa stated, as if the notion was entirely unfamiliar to her.

“She did,” Jace agreed, but said no more.

“Can,” Chandra started speaking before abruptly stopping herself. She glanced at them all and then back to the floor.

“Can people just do that?” she tried again.

“Leave?” Nissa prompted.

“Yeah,” Chandra replied. There was another moment of contemplative silence. To be honest, they’d been avoiding this topic of conversation for some time. The matter of Liliana leaving had hung in the air, unsaid, for the last three months. At first, Gideon had openly hoped she would come back. Maybe, he told them, she had just decided to go on holiday. However, as days turned to weeks and weeks to month, that became less likely. Jace had concluded that she’d gone and got herself another job without saying goodbye. That they didn’t really matter that much to her anyway. He also added that she didn’t mean that much to him. That was definitely a lie. They all knew about the utterly horrible mess that had happened there, even if they didn’t want to talk about it.

“I assume so,” Jace commented softly, “I mean. This is just our place of work. We could leave and find something new whenever we wanted.”

“I’ve never thought about leaving,” Gideon mused, gaze fixed on Liliana’s empty chair. 

“I don’t know anyone else who’s left,” Nissa said, following his gaze, frowning faintly at the revelation.

“What about that lady from HR?” Chandra asked, “The one Ajani-“

“She died,” Nissa swiftly cut across her, “I-I don’t think she counts.”

“The guy from R&D?” Chandra tried again, “The one-.”

“Also dead,” Jace confirmed, “There must be someone, anyone, in the company who’s just left of their own volition? But, I can’t remember any names.”

They racked their brains but nothing. Was Planar Gate Security Solutions just a really good place to work? Was that the reason why no one ever moved jobs, or retired, or went on sabbatical? Didn’t anyone have dreams to follow? Places to be? How did you get this many people to stay in one place for so long? Well, except for Liliana. But still, by all accounts, it didn’t make sense.

“You disappeared for two months,” Gideon pointed out to Jace.

“I told you, I was on holiday,” he said, leaning on one of the arm rests.

“For two months?” Chandra pressed.

“It was my first holiday in years?” he didn’t sound entirely sure himself, “I didn’t exactly plan for it to happen. It just-just did.”

“You came back with a tan,” Chandra pointed at his face, which was mostly obscured in the hood of his jacket, “How can you accidentally go far enough to get a tan?”

Jace mumbled something indistinguishable under his breath. He hadn’t given them a single answer since he stumbled back into the office, clean-shaven, tanned and looking like he’d actually succeeded at working out. He was still scrawny compared to Gideon, but who wasn’t. The more pressing matter is that none of them seemed to remember the moment in which they’d last seen him. They were absolutely sure he’d been at the staff summer party. They were also sure that someone had spiked the punch. After that, everything was a collective blur.

“Aren’t we supposed to be team building?” Jace asked, leading the conversation away from his own mysterious absence.

Whatever his motives, that was true. Gideon picked up the clipboard again and scanned through its contents. Nothing there seemed to pique his interest for he swiftly reached the bottom and flipped through the rest of the pages very rapidly.

“It says here,” he stated, “That employees may come up with their own team-building activities, and run these if they get the permission of their manager. Does anyone have a bonding activity they would rather be doing?”

Honesty stated that no one really wanted to be bonding with each other at all. However, they could trust Chandra to make the best out of a bad situation.

“Let’s play Never Have I Ever!” she proclaimed, thrusting her hand into the air as if she was answering in class.

“Don’t you need alcohol for that?” Jace asked. If anyone did have alcohol on them, they weren’t going to admit it in front of him. Even if he wasn't the strictest manager.

“You don’t have to,” Chandra explained, “I got a better way of doing it! Competitive style!”

She received multiple raised eyebrows for her enthusiasm.

“So,” she began, “We huddle up in the centre of the room. Then, we say a Never Have I Ever, and if it applies to you, you scoot back a push! First person to collide with a wall is the loser, or winner, I don’t know!”

“Does anyone have any better ideas?” Gideon asked. Chandra pouted and he instantly reached forward in apology.

“That wasn’t a slight against your idea. Just a call for more suggestions.”

He looked at Jace and Nissa.

“Well, Never Have I Ever it is.”

They all shuffled awkwardly into the centre of the room so their knees bashed together and they knocked shoulders. There was a very good chance that someone was going to crash into a computer, or at the very least, the printer station. However, this beat mandated fun and was vastly superior to actually working. Chandra lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. This nonsense was her brainchild so they were all just going to let her go first.

“Alright,” she said, “If you’ve done the thing, scoot back. We’ll go clockwise, got it?”

They all nodded.

Chandra clapped her hands together.

“Never have I ever… broken my leg!”

Nissa pushed back on her chair, it wobbled a little as it moved her a few inches back. Chandra looked a little disappointed at the lack of reaction but passed her turn.

“Never have I ever,” recited Nissa, before looking concerned, “Gambled in a casino?”

Chandra pushed back a little. She shrugged as they all turned to look at her.

“You’ve never seen Mother Luti play poker. She practically robs the table. I don’t really have a poker face though.”

Jace’s turn.

“Never have I ever set off the building’s fire alarms.”

Nissa, Chandra and Gideon all pushed off at that. They’d never asked exactly how Chandra had done it, but things tended to melt around her. Nissa had been the unfortunate victim of a faulty kettle, which had smoked out the entire kitchen. Gideon meanwhile had burnt far too much toast. 

“Never have I ever,” Gideon pondered, “I know. Never have I ever urinated in a swimming pool.”

“Ew gross,” said Chandra. Thankfully no one pushed back on that one. They had gone all the way round the circle but no one had pushed out very far. She and Nissa seemed to be the about an equal distance away, whilst Jace hadn’t moved at all. Time to change that!

“Never have I ever eaten a whole pizza by myself!”

Gideon shifted back but no one else. She’d really expected Jace to have at least tried to eat the whole pizza. She’d tried many times. She’d get there one day.

“Never have I ever,” Nissa murmured, “Been kicked out of a cafe or bar.”

Gideon and Chandra this time. They glanced at each other, wondering if it was the same café or bar. They’d find out the next time they tried to plan a team lunch.

“Never have I ever been trapped in a lift,” Jace continued.

No one moved. Boring.

“Never have I ever skinny-dipped,” Gideon announced. He clearly had swimming on the mind, likely because that was his plan for after work.

Chandra went a little pink as she saw that Nissa had wheeled back too. When had she skinny-dipped? Was it somewhere she knew? Was it a regular thing? Would it be too personal to ask? Probably. Whatever the case, Jace still hadn’t budged and this simply wouldn’t do.

She grinned as the turn came back to her.

“Never have I ever slept with another person who works here.”

Everyone turned to look at Jace who promptly spluttered and pushed his chair back a few inches. However he wasn’t the only one to shuffle. Chandra swiftly rounded on Gideon who had taken a few wheel turns back and stared at him open mouthed.

“With who?” she gasped.

“I believe the phrase is ‘Don’t Kiss and Tell’,” he replied, “Also, it’s not really a matter to be discussed at work.”

“Y-Yes,” Jace added, “Not exactly suitable conversation for the work place. Also, definitely targeted at me. I didn’t think that was the nature of the game.”

Chandra blinked innocently at him.

“I never said it was about you,” she replied, “It could have been about anyone.”

He wasn’t convinced. Thankfully, Nissa was ready to continue on the round.

“Never have I ever accidentally sent someone to the hospital.” Now it her turn to receive a stare from all her colleagues. The way she spoke…it made it sound like she’d intentionally done so! Chandra watched for Nissa's reaction as both she and Gideon scooted backwards. At the rate she and Gideon were going, they were going to hit a desk really soon!

“Never have I ever,” Jace began, “Turned up to work with my underwear outside of my clothing.”

“Oi!” Chandra exclaimed, nevertheless scooting, “That was one time! And they told me it was a ‘fashion top’. I thought we weren’t targeting!”

He merely shrugged. She decided there and then that Gideon wasn’t having a go.

“Never,” she retorted, “Have I ever woken up in a strange place with no memory of how I got there.”

He scowled, crossing one leg over the other.

“Never have I ever lit someone else’s hair on fire on purpose,”

Chandra crossed her arms. Oh he was really asking for it now!

“Never have I ever worn my jeans inside out for an entire day without noticing.”

Jace rolled his eyes.

“Never have I ever eaten stray noodles off the floor.”

Gideon looked grossed out but Chandra’s attention was solely on Jace.

“Never have I ever lied to get out of work!”

That wasn’t strictly true but she was annoyed. His face was mostly in shadow beneath his hood so he wasn’t even giving her the pleasure of seeing his expression! Nissa and Gideon merely watched on in increasing dread as he replied:

“Never have I ever lost the sunglasses I was actually wearing.”

“Never have I ever switched back to glasses because I thought it made me look cute!”

“Never have I ever run through multiple red lights.”

“Never have I ever mind-controlled my way into discounts!”

“Never have I ever posted pictures of myself destroying public property on social media.”

“Never have I ever gone crawling back to an ex!”

Everything suddenly turned very still and very silent. Gideon winced. Nissa pretended to look busy by checking her perfectly even nails. There had been a line and now that line had been crossed. Jace had no right to pull out receipts on Chandra’s past destructive behaviour, but neither did she need to remind them all of that deeply uncomfortable time.

Yet Chandra was pissed and self-control had never been her defining quality.

“Never have _I_ ever said the wrong name during sex,” she informed Jace. Now he looked up at her.

“You shouldn’t know that,” he said, his voice very quiet.

“Liliana liked to gossip,” she said, “Now, why-“

Beep

Beep

Beep

Boop

**Thunk!**

The sound of their overly-extravagant lock pierced the tension like a hot knife through ice cream – messily and not quite appropriately for the moment. There another loud clunk as the door opened, revealing a familiar leonin man in a cream pinstripe suit. He had a briefcase under one arm and a bunch of tulips in the other. It was Ajani. The Ajani who they were actively trying to not disappoint right now. Animosity suddenly forgotten, Chandra sat down and they all hastily scooted back into the centre of the room

“Don’t mind me, I thought I’d just drop by on my way out,” Ajani said, taking in their hastily assembled circle and nodding with approval. They all instantly felt a sense of great accomplishment.

“If anyone is intending to take the road past Thraben Cathedral on your way home, you may want to consider an alternative route,” Ajani stated.

“Why?” asked Nissa, who cycled that way home.

Ajani sighed.

“You may struggle to believe this, but…According to the news, the entire road is overrun with, well, _dinosaurs_.

In perfect unison, everyone turned on their chairs to look at Jace.

He swallowed.

“We’ve been watching the news upstairs,” Ajani continued, “It’s quite unbelievable. Brontodons, regisaurs, even a colossal dreadmaw. I’m not sure the priests of Avacyn really know what to do with themselves.”

“Th-Thank you for letting us know,” Jace replied, voice a few octaves higher than last he spoke, “Hope you have a safe trip home!”

Ajani merely nodded and departed, the door closing solidly behind him.


	2. You, Me and R&D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gatewatch get a surprise visitor just before their day goes to hell. With the lock on their door playing up, it seems unlikely they are going to get much work done as R&D screws with their ability to reach the outside world.

Jace and Chandra weren’t speaking to each other.

This was making things exceptionally awkward, especially for the two other residents of the small second floor office. They had to sit there, making awkward attempts at conversation, whilst the other two pretended each other didn’t exist. They had to be spoken to separately or not at all. Whilst the room boiled with tension, Jace would retreat further into his corner. Hood up, avoiding any sort of attention, he attempted to exclusively communicate via email. Even though his colleagues were only a few feet away. Chandra meanwhile was even louder than usual. Every little inconvenience annoyed her and apparently every one was Jace’s fault. Stubbing her toe on the filing cabinet? Jace. The printer eating a whole wad of paper and refusing to give it back? Jace. Out of her favourite wrap at the food truck? Also Jace. Jace didn’t even try to defend himself against the barrage of insults that got tossed at him when something didn’t go Chandra’s way. He just stayed in his corner, silent, typing away, occasionally answering the phone in a quiet listless tone.

The tension had to break at some point. It had seeped through the room like a noxious gas. Even Gideon and Nissa began to feel its effects. After three days, Nissa’s fragile tolerance for customers went out the window and she shouted a man into obedience before storming out the office to get some fresh air. She came back her usual quiet self and no one said anything about it. Gideon meanwhile was going through biro pens like tooth-picks. When he surveyed the disaster that was their team, his hands would shake, his strong grip shattering whatever fragile plastic he was holding at the time. Something needed to happen and soon. If not for their sake, but for those of their customers’ and the stationary cupboard.

When they came back after the weekend to no change in the office, things started looking dire. Gideon sent an email to Nissa, asking whether they should get HR involved. Nissa however, did not get a chance to respond. She’d opened her emails and considered the fact. Yet, no sooner had she clicked on the ‘Reply’ tab, when suddenly the door to the Help Desk Department swung open.

Entering the room, was a tall woman in a sleek black suit. She was an impressive sight. Not just because she commanded the entire room’s attention simply by entering it. Her elegant attire traced the lines of her body so well it was clearly made for her. The fitted suit jacket and long straight legged trousers only served to emphasis this woman’s long legs, strong thighs, and athletic physique, still with the sort of curves to have Nissa openly staring. The cream blouse she wore beneath the jacket was open just enough at the collar to expose the edge of a black lace bra that matched the ribbon she wore about her neck as a choker. Not a single thread was out of place. Not a scuff on her jacket. Not a speck of dirt on her black stiletto heels. She looked like a woman who had herself together. Or was doing an excellent impression of one regardless.

What was truly striking about this woman, apart from the everything, was the fact she wasn’t human. Nissa, also not human, did not react as strongly to this as Chandra – who was openly gawping at the unexpected arrival, rather pink in the face. The woman paid no attention to them, curling her snake-like tendrils of hair about the back of her neck as she strode across the office, straight towards Jace’s desk. Once there, she deposited a large paper bag on his desk.

“You forgot your bus pass,” she told him, as he stared up at her in shock. She raised an elegant eyebrow at him and he instantly got to his feet, shoving his hood back off his head. She fished out a bright green pass from the paper bag and handed it to him.

“I-I didn’t know you were in this part of town,” he replied, sounding as awed as the rest of the office felt. He took the pass and slipped it into a pocket of his hooded jacket.

“I was passing through,” she said, “This wasn’t too much out of my way.”

Jace nodded, acutely aware that the rest of the office was now staring at the both of them.

“I also noticed,” she continued, her voice rising into a teasing tone, “That someone neglected to have any breakfast this morning. And I’m willing to bet he’s going to forget about lunch too.”

Jace smiled sheepishly at her, causing her to tut and reach forward, fiddling idly with one of the drawstrings on his jacket.

“I overslept,” he mumbled, “Had to run for the bus, but then I didn’t have my pass so, yeah.”

“That old story.” She reached into the bag again with her free hand. Jace’s eyes widened when she pulled out slightly-steaming package, wrapped in white waxed paper.

“Breakfast,” she stated, handing it over to him, “And there’s a lunch for you in the bag. I passed one of those sushi places you like, where they make flowers out of the vegetables

He went very red in the face.

“Thank you,” he said, meeting her gaze, looking suddenly very shy. This only increased the intensity at which he was being stared.

“You’re welcome. Just don’t do it again,” she told him. Despite the sternness in her tone, her smile was incredibly affectionate. She drew him closer to her by the strings of his jacket and gently kissed him on the forehead.

“See you later. Don’t work too hard.”

She turned on her heels, and without a word to anyone else in the office, left. No sooner had the door closed behind her, then Chandra cried out

“What the hell was that?”

Jace ignored her, choosing to investigate the paper-wrapped item he’d been handed. He pulled out a cheese toastie, mostly stuck to the napkin it had been wrapped in before being placed into the bag. Gently prying the napkin off, he dug in.

“Who was she?!” Chandra demanded, pointing at the door, “Why did a hot monster woman just come in and give you a sandwich?”

“It’s a toastie,” Jace corrected her, showing her the large amount of cheese he now owned, “And she’s not a monster. Her name is Vraska. She’s my girlfriend.”

Chandra made a spluttering noise. Nissa’s eyebrows couldn’t get any higher. Gideon meanwhile, was Gideon.

“Congratulations,” he said, “I’m glad you have re-entered the dating scene with a woman who actually cares about your well-being this time.”

Jace grimaced. It was true, but he didn’t need to say it.

“This is so not fair!” Chandra exclaimed, spinning round on her chair as she faced the rest of the team, “He gets a hot girlfriend who brings him food? Him? Loser McJace-Face who can’t find his own spine let alone a woman’s-“

The door flew open again.

“Oh I’m sorry, I forgot something!”

It was Vraska, she was back, and she was smirking. She crossed the room in three long strides before promptly grabbing Jace by the front of his jacket. Before anyone could do so much as gasp, he was swept into a passionate kiss. Lips locked, her hands pressed into the small of his back, his hands caressed her face and serpentine hair. Gideon looked away out of some misplaced sense of modesty, as there was more than a hint of tongue between them. By the time they parted, Jace was panting and Vraska looked smug.

She dipped one hand into the paper bag and withdrew a pair of leather motorcycle gloves.

“Ah, there they are. Have a nice day everyone!”

And with that she sauntered out of the room, leaving a stunned silence in her wake. 

It took a good few minutes for anyone to get their voices back from the mutual feeling of shock. Jace was still standing, very red in the face, fingertips against his lips as if he wasn’t sure that had just happened. Nissa stared at him, wide-eyed, whilst Chandra frowned at the carpet at his feet. Once it seemed the coast was clear, Gideon turned back to face the centre of the room, finally breaking the silence.

“She was listening to us outside the door, wasn’t she?”

Jace dimly nodded.

“Did you know she was going to do that?”

Jace shook his head.

“Does she work here?” asked Chandra, tone full of accusation, “I’ve never seen her before.”

That wasn’t saying much. The building was huge, eight stories high with multiple wings. They probably hadn't met most of the people who worked here. There was only so much mingling you could do at parties.

“Is she management?” asked Nissa, “She had a suit on.”

Chandra made another spluttering noise at the thought that Jace was dating management. Nissa’s reasoning was however sound. Only the topmost levels of employees came in wearing suits. Your clothing got fancier the further you went up the ladder – unless you were a repair technician where you got a uniform. Stuck behind their phones all day without a customer in sight, the Gatewatch were allowed to come in casual clothing, as long as they kept it respectable. If Vraska was going about their offices looking like she was straight off a runway, she would have to be quite high up. Luckily for all involved, that wasn’t the case.

“She doesn’t work here,” Jace told Nissa, “She’s freelance, works from home. She must be going to meet a client if she’s dressed up like that. Usually she works in sweatpants and a t-shirt.”

“If she doesn’t work here,” stated Gideon, “Then how did she get in?”

Jace opened his mouth to answer that, then promptly closed it again. Everyone turned to the door to stare at their overly elaborate lock. Usually when someone entered the room, they would be announced by a series of high pitched beeps, a singular ‘boop’ and then a mighty great crunch of metal parts. It was one of the many things they hated about this office, right up there with the dodgy central heating and the bit of carpet that just wasn’t stuck down properly. However, as a security firm, they needed to be secure. The over-complicated lock was manageable, and it hadn’t actually hurt anyone, unlike the carpet. They just kind of took it for granted now. And yet, Vraska had managed to get in and out, not once, but twice, and there hadn’t been a single noise.

“How did she get through reception?” asked Nissa, as the scope of what had just happened dawned on the four of them.

“Or into the lifts?”

To get out of reception in the main building, they needed to swipe their keycards through security. To use the lifts, they needed to press their keycards to the button panel. All these measures had been put in place so people from outside the company couldn’t access the inner workings of a firm so vital to protecting large and important things. Yet somehow, Vraska had managed to get here, to the second floor, through all that security, despite never have seen the place before.

“What does she do for a living?” asked Gideon, “Does she freelance for us?”

By ‘us’ he clearly meant Planar Gate Security Solutions.

“Maybe?” Jace replied, but he didn’t sound sure at all, “We don’t share work information. That would a data protection breach, or something like that.”

“Well, I can’t imagine she would risk getting herself in trouble just to bring you a cheese toastie,” Gideon stated, “She must have a pass on her person somewhere.”

This seemed like the most sensible conclusion. As they went back to work, Jace was still drawing the occasional stare. The blush hadn’t quite gone yet, and there was still the question of how he had rebounded from Liliana so hard he’d ended up with another woman with a domineering personality. There would undoubtedly be stories about how they met, but there were certain lines in this workplace. Though Chandra was quite happy to cross them on occasion, the others knew that Jace’s attempts at relationships were thoroughly out of bounds. Over the course of the morning however, the occasional phonecall provided enough of a distraction for everyone to stop wondering about Jace’s love life. An hour or two later, it almost out of conscious thought.

Beep

Beep

Beep

Boop

The lock made its appropriate series of noises but stopped short of the thunk of mechanisms unlocking. There was a loud swear word from outside the door, and before anyone could so much as ask why the expletives were necessary, the door swung open.

“Who’s been screwing with the locks?!” demanded Ral Zarek, kicking the door further ajar. Everyone turned to look at him. There was a smudge of grease across his face, and more than a little down his striped blue shirt and skinny jeans. He had a bag slung over one shoulder and a screwdriver stuck into one of his belt loops in lieu of a belt. Judging the rage in his eyes and vertical angle of his hair, he was having a bad day.

“Nobody,” said Jace, “What’s wrong with the locks?”

“They’re all screwed up, that’s what,” Ral retorted, marching over to Jace’s desk, “Every lock from on the ground, first and second floor isn’t responding how they’re meant to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jace replied, his tone was impassive but everyone could feel the mounting hostility in the room. As if they didn’t have enough of that already.

“What that _means_ ,” Ral exclaimed, “Is it’s not just a simple matter of the fact they’re unlocked. That’s your door, but some on the first floor have completely switched their access levels. Managers can only get General Staff access and General Staff can only get into Manager access. These things are Planar Gate products, the best we have, we can track who uses which door as soon as they’ve used it. But now our systems are telling us that the receptionists are on the second floor, whilst those who should be on first are using completely irrelevant doors in the maintenance hall on the ground level. Mechanically, they’re fine, but what’s point of having a carefully monitored ‘Smart-Lock’ if the whole system goes topsy-turvy! What’s worse is, we can’t get into the system to set everything back to default! We’re going to have to implement a new one we’ve never used before.”

“I understand that would be frustrating,” said Gideon, “But what has that got to do with us?”

“Yes, we deal with customer queries,” Jace agreed, “We don’t make locks, that’s your job.”

Ral gritted his teeth.

“Because it’s always your fault when we have to change our gear,” he stated, “We find solutions, all you guys make are problems.”

“Because customers have problems,” Jace retorted, “Because we have to take feedback. Whatever this is has nothing to do with customers, so I don’t think its relevant to us.”

Ral shot a glare at Jace’s purple lanyard, similar to his own. Purple lanyard signified you were a manager. That meant there wasn’t someone higher up in the department you could go to complain about them without the hassle going through HR.

“Well, we’re using your door to test our new system,” he shrugged, as if he didn’t really care what happened.

“We already passed it by HR, we need a passage that sees use but inconveniences the least amount of people. You’ve been volunteered as there’s only the four of you.”

“Don’t you have an example door in R&D?” Jace asked, “One that doesn’t inconvenience all of _us_?”

“That isn’t a working example,” Ral replied, “We need our new system to be tested for every day use. Therefore, you lot.”

Jace sighed.

“Also you want to screw with us.”

“Also I wanted to screw with you,” Ral confirmed, “Call this payback for the last five departmental pub quizzes.”

Jace rolled his eyes. Despite having only four members, two of whom which rarely participated, the Gatewatch had the highest win percentage of pub quiz victories out of any department in Planar Gate. It was perhaps this that had ignited the feud between their managers, not aided by the time that Jace accidentally knocked Ral down the stairs. The Gatewatch was on a five win streak and Jace didn’t intend to break that any time soon.

“You’ll be fine,” Ral’s assurances were tinged with a definite hint of sarcasm.

“We’ll get this sorted as fast we can. _Have fun!_ ”

They did not have fun. Once they heard the thunk of the lock being set back into place, they naively assumed that was the end of their troubles. However, when Chandra tried to pop out and use the ladies’ room, the door was utterly unresponsive. Gideon tried to valiantly come to her aide, but the door didn’t accept his keycard either. Neither did it accept brute force. They both rounded on Jace, who promptly rang R&D before Chandra was at risk of ruining her leggings.

Salvation came into the form of Saheeli Rai, possibly the nicest member of R&D, who certainly didn’t deserve all the bad words the Gatewatch were saying about her team. She arrived in a swirl of colourful skirts, bearing a packet of apology biscuits and bag of new keycards. Chandra almost bowled her over in her desperation to dash to the toilet, but the engineer swiftly stepped aside to let her pass. She and Gideon had a small chat about the dinosaur incident as she linked their new cards up to their user log ins. It turned out she and Huatli, the owner of the conversation site, were dating. The whole ordeal had Saheeli visiting her girlfriend at odd times to assure her everything would be ok. Not all of Huatli's dinosaurs had been found yet, and she was sick with worry. Once everything was set up, Saheeli promised them that they would be all good to go. They kept the door open until Chandra came back, and then Saheeli swiftly made her exit, wishing them all a good day.

Everything seemed fine until lunch time came. Gideon went out for his customary jog and Nissa went out to do a bit of shopping. The park was incredibly busy at lunch time, it being the only pleasant piece of greenery in walking distance from all the local offices. Gideon passed a small group from HR, who were having a lunch time picnic with their new intern. He waved at Ajani, who nodded appreciatively at Gideon’s commitment to his fitness regime. He often met Ajani in the gym, not that the leonin really needed to work on his abs anymore, but they both enjoyed the company and the routine. Gideon returned to work via the staff showers on the first floor. Heart still pumping from his workout, he took the stairs two at a time back up to second floor, passing through the sales department and to their little office at the far side. Once he was in the right corridor, he realised he wasn’t alone in coming back from lunch slightly late. Nissa was standing outside their door, keycard outstretched, tapping it against the sensor as if playing percussion. He joined her and tried to tap his own. Nothing. Not even a beep.

“Do you have your new pass?” he asked. She nodded, showing him both new and old passes. Neither of them worked. Gideon tried to knock on the door, in the hopes that someone else was back who could let them in. No answer. The door was so thick even his hardest knocks would be inaudible to those at the other side of the room or with headphones in

“I want to ask someone to fix it but we can’t get into R&D,” Nissa said softly, “That area is top secret. We could try reception?”

That seemed to be the best course of action. They trailed back through sales and took the lift down. The lobby was full of people coming back from lunch. They had to fight through a tide of bodies going the opposite direction. Gideon pushed ahead of Nissa so she could use him as a shield. He charged ahead, shoulders positioned like a rugby player as she hurried along behind him to keep up. Finally, they reached the reception desk. There was only one receptionist currently present and he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

“We’ve been shut out of our office,” Gideon informed him, “Can you get in contact with R&D for us?”

Davriel raised one elegantly plucked eyebrow at him.

“They put an experimental new system in and they’re testing it on us,” Gideon elaborated.

“Who are you again?” asked Davriel, taking his feet off the reception desk and picking up a pen.

“Gideon Jura, Gatewatch. And Nissa Revane, also Gatewatch.”

“That’s an awful name,” Davriel sighed, pulling a laminated sheet of paper out from under his desk, “Gatewatch, _Gatewatch_ , it’s just so uninspired. If you ask me-“

“We just want to get back into our office,” Gideon interrupted. Davriel rolled his eyes and picked up his phone off the receiver. After punching in the right extension, he leaned back and waited to get past the dial tone.

“Hello,” he said, “Got some annoyed members of the _Gatewatch_ in my abode. You’ve apparently locked them out of their office.”

There was a pause as whoever was on the other end of the line explained themselves.

“Got it. Goodbye.” Davriel put the phone down with a thunk.

“Everyone is out at lunch at the moment. They’ll call you when they’ve fixed your door.”

“What are we supposed to do?” Gideon asked. Davriel shrugged, leaning back in his chair with a stretch.

“Why should I know? Go for a walk? Get some tea? Count yourself lucky your break has been extended?”

Gideon glanced at Nissa. A longer lunch break sounded great. He wasn’t one to look a gift-horse in the mouth. Taking out his wallet, he turned to her.

“Want to go for a wander? There’s a good café by the park that does drinks.”

She nodded and they hastily made their exit before R&D changed their minds and let them in. Five minutes later, they chose a bench in the park, now accompanied by two large green teas. After passing one to Nissa, Gideon sat down with a sigh. They sat there in silence for a moment, sipping at their scalding hot tea. Before finally, Gideon spoke:

“So how have you been?” he asked, “Sorry we haven’t had much chance to talk lately.”

Nissa shrugged.

“I am fine personally,” she replied, “Though I do not think the same could be said of our office.”

Gideon made a ‘mm’ of agreement.

“The whole room is full of negative energy,” Nissa continued, “I do not like it. The whole place seems less safe than usual.”

“Less safe?” Gideon repeated, confused by her phrasing. Judging by her tone, she didn’t seem to be talking about their faulty lock. She shifted a little awkwardly in her seat. As if she had suddenly been made aware she’d said something unusual.

“I have been thinking about what happened last week,” she explained, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“About Jace and Chandra?” Gideon asked. She nodded.

“About all of us,” she said, “About what we meant when we said this was out first corporate jobs. About us being a team. I-I think that’s why I like this job. It is very routine. I can cycle into work each morning and know that it will be the same three faces that greet me. Three people I thought I knew how to read, how to interpret their actions, how to judge what they’re thinking. People can be so hard to understand sometimes; it was very comforting to have those solid roots beneath me.”

Gideon couldn’t help but notice she was speaking in the past tense.

“But now?” he added.

“Now those roots seem less solid,” she continued, “I thought I got everyone. I thought I understood them. However, whilst we played those games, I realised that those roots stretch further than I could imagine. I have known you all for so many years now, but it turns out I don’t understand everyone as well as I thought I did. Sometimes I wonder if I had been mistaking you all for somebody other than strangers. The office doesn’t feel like the safe space it once was.”

“I’m sorry,” Gideon apologised, looking a little crestfallen at her confession.

“It is not your fault,” she said, “I understand that people have lives outside work, however when those lives affect how they behave in work, it’s like I have to puzzle them out all over again. I looked at my books, but, they didn’t help.”

“I can explain what happened on my part,” said Gideon, “And perhaps a little for the others, if you need the help.”

“I feel like I do,” she stated, “However, I just want the office to return to the way it was. Or perhaps the way it was before Liliana arrived. I had hoped in her absence that it would. But she spread her own brand of negativity throughout the office and it has cursed the place.”

Gideon also couldn’t deny that. He still hoped that Liliana would come back one day, but he understood that half the office disagreed with him.

“She hurt a lot of people,” Gideon said, “And left a very lasting impression on us all. It was just who she was. I think things will get better with time. And once, Jace and Chandra stop arguing, we won’t be reminded so much of it.”

“I don’t know what happened,” Nissa confessed, placing her hands in her lap, “I sensed that something terrible was occurring. And I know they were engaging in sexual activity. But how did she turn Jace into a different person? How did she diminish him but give such confidence to Chandra? How did you put up with all her attempts to belittle you? There is a whole web of interactions there I cannot get my head around.”

Gideon let out a long sigh before taking a swig of his tea.

“I believe there is some good in her,” he stated, “But it is buried deep under a desire to further her own goals. I did not take her belittlement seriously because I saw them for what they were – an attempt to reduce me in the eyes of others. She saw me as a force she could not remove from her way, so tried to diminish me in the eyes of others by calling me stupid names. When that didn’t work, she was forced to show me some respect. I was an adversary she could not bend to her will.”

“And Chandra?” Nissa asked.

“Chandra is impulsive,” Gideon continued, “Emotional. Easy to influence. Liliana made friends with her by appealing to all the parts of Chandra that Chandra liked about herself. That she was good at. Liliana boosted Chandra’s confidence, stroked her ego by encouraging her to revel in her destruction. Chandra knows deep down that this is a bad thing – it’s why she got so angry at Jace for bringing it up. However change scares her because first she has to admit she was wrong. Liliana gave her an excuse not to and Chandra misses that.”

Nissa frowned, spinning the cardboard sleeve around her cup of tea.

“And Jace?”

Gideon let out the largest sigh of all.

“Jace is complicated, even to me. I don’t know what happened to him before he joined the company. I don’t know much about his home life. The man is extremely clever, far too clever to be stuck in a job like this, but I don’t think anyone has ever appreciated that. The man is desperate for validation. He’ll do anything for a shred of emotional support. And Liliana provided that, in a way, whilst making sure he was obedient to her every whim. What was worse, Jace understood what she was doing, and feels like he let her do it.”

“And the sexual activity?” Nissa asked, still frowning slightly.

“Technically emotional support I guess,” Gideon replied with a shrug, “I try not to think about that too much.”

Nissa nodded, as if that was sensible. She glanced at him over the rim of her cup. Her inquisitive gaze showed she clearly had more questions.

“What else do you want to know?” he offered.

“The game,” she said, “I understand that this might by prying but… some of the answers from the game concerned me. I don’t want what Liliana did to happen again.”

“Which question was that?” he asked. Gideon thought back and tried to work out what had concerned her. What made her feel like another Liliana takeover would happen?

“I’ve learned that sexual activity is often used to determine power dynamics,” Nissa explained, “Especially in our office.”

Now Gideon understood. He and Jace had wheeled back when Chandra had said she had never slept with someone from work. He’d concerned Nissa that someone would control him like Liliana had controlled Jace.

“It’s fine,” he assured her, “No one is trying to force their whims on me. And if they did, I would call them out on it and stop it if it got too far.”

“But who,” Nissa replied, “I understand that this is personal but… I want to know who I should look out for. You know, just in case.”

Another sigh from Gideon. He wasn’t the sort to leave a friend worried. Nissa was naturally quiet, she wasn’t going to spread gossip. Besides, she might appreciate the trust he put in her.

“If I tell you, could you please keep it a secret?” he asked. Nissa nodded almost immediately.

“I will tell no one, I promise. I am very good with secrets.”

“I thought you might be.”

He smiled at her to buy himself some time. Nissa gave a hesitant smile back. Gideon took a deep breath.

“Do you remember that summer party three years ago? The one where you drank us all under the table?”

Nissa’s smile turned slightly more genuine.

“Yes. I didn’t like the party at first. It was too loud and there were too many people. You were all very kind and we went into a side room where the noise was muffled and played many drinking games. I won all of them.”

“It was very impressive,” Gideon chuckled, “And I’m glad you had a good time.”

She nodded.

“Well, it happened after that party. You’d gone off on your bike like you hadn’t drunk a drop, but Chandra was having problems standing. Jace and I decided to make sure she got home safe. We took a taxi back to her flat, got her inside and safely to bed. She was snoring away so we posted her keys back through her door and then had to work out what to do with ourselves.”

He grimaced.

“My place was closer and Jace wasn’t in a great state either so I suggested he could have my sofa for the night. We ended up getting takeout on the way back, and the takeout came with yet more drink, which we had when we got back. Somehow we both ended up in my bed and, well, you can guess where that went.”

Nissa’s face went through a slideshow of emotion. First came admiration, at the story of how they’d taken Chandra home, but that was swiftly followed by apprehension, then shock, and then an awkward sort of sadness.

“I imagine you felt awkwardness the following morning. In addition to the hangover.”

“More than a little,” Gideon sighed, “More like shock and horror at what I’d done. To put it simply, I am a large man and Jace…isn’t. I was drunk and wasn’t as considerate with him as I would have been whilst sober. He was in pain, had bruises for days. What was worse, he blamed himself for ending up in that situation. He remembered some sort of drunken flirting on his end, and he remembered enjoying himself, so expected me to hate him because of it. He expected me to use what we’d done against him in some way. Straight up asked me not to humiliate him too much. It was a horrifying view into his life that…I wasn’t prepared for.”

Nissa was staring at the ground and Gideon couldn’t help but join her in her contemplation of the grass beneath their feet.

“That is why you offer him so many supportive words,” she said quietly, “Because you want to convince him, even if it happened years ago, that you aren’t going to behave like Liliana did.”

“Partially,” Gideon replied, “Though mainly because I want to support everyone on the team. Jace and I decided not to talk about it, and I haven’t, not until now. I still wonder who was the most drunk, if I should have been the responsible one in that situation. There is no way of knowing , as you said, it happened years ago. But in that instance, I hurt him. And then after that, I couldn’t protect him, Chandra, you, anyone from the manipulation rife in our office. What is the point of being there, if I can't protect those that are important to me? ”

His phone buzzed angrily in his pocket, and he hastened to grab it, the screen protector shattering a little more under his tight grip. As he opened his texts, Nissa’s phone went off and she hastily pulled it out of her handbag.

Gideon had a text from Jace.

**Chandra and I talked it out. We’re still stuck in the office though. Please get help.**

He showed it to Nissa. She showed the text she’d just received.

**Jace and me talked still stuck tho! Jace in BAD state after chat break down RD door maybe? thx xoxo**

They stared each other and immediately jumped to their feet. Time to head back then!

\----

_Half an hour prior._

Chandra was used to having the office to herself during lunch break. Gideon would go jogging, Nissa would out for fresh air and Jace always went for a refill on his excessively strong coffee. Today however, Jace had received his lunch from his girlfriend, so he had no need to go anywhere. Mouth full of sandwich, Chandra shot him a glare as he took all the little boxes out of the paper bag she’d left behind. Not only did he have an amazing looking box of sushi, but she’d also got him some sort of pancake and a bottle of fizzy water. Chandra had no inclinations to set her relationship goals based on what Jace of all people was doing. But why didn’t she have a hot girlfriend who brought her lunch and snogged her passionately in front of her co-workers? So not fair. She did her best to pretend she wasn’t interested in whatever Jace was eating, however whatever it was, was extremely colourful. She kept glimpsing it out of the corner of her eye so it was only a matter of time before curiosity got the better of her.

“Woah.”

She had wheeled her chair over to Jace’s desk. Vraska certainly hadn’t lying about the vegetable flowers. The round plastic tray looked like someone had stuck sushi in a flower bed. It was ridiculously pretty just to be had for lunch.

“How do they do that?” she asked, pointing at a rose made out of cucumber.

“I watched some videos on it once,” said Jace, staring suspiciously at her, “It’s looks complicated.”

“What shop is it from?” Chandra prodded. She wanted to eat one of the flowers, to see if it still tasted like vegetable, however it wasn’t her lunch.

Jace checked the side of the box.

“The Bountiful Krasis. I don’t know which one, I think it’s a chain.”

He nervously went back to eating. Chandra wheeled back over to her own desk before getting up. Well, if she couldn’t have fancy sushi, she could at least have the strawberry mousse she’d left in the fridge. She got up and headed over to the door, presenting her new keycard to the lock.

Nothing happened.

She tried again.

Still nothing.

She tried the old keycard and the door remained as useless as before. She gave an experimental tug to the handle. Definitely locked.

“Jace…” she said, “Jace, we’re stuck.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“The door won’t open.”

He got to his feet and tried his own keycards. Still no response. He bit his lip.

“I’ll ring R&D.”

After five minutes of frowning at the phone, Jace was forced to leave an irritable message on R&D’s answer phone. They had all evidently gone to lunch without leaving anyone behind to monitor the office. That was company policy. They had to stagger their lunch breaks so someone was there at all times. Apparently R&D thought they were too good to follow the rules. Jace went back to his lunch with a sigh. Being locked in the office wasn’t too bad. He didn’t need to be anywhere. It was just, being locked in the office with Chandra might have some unwelcome consequences.

With no strawberry mousse anytime soon, Chandra was bored. She span on her chair before fixing her gaze back on Jace, who was clearly trying not to draw attention to himself.

“So,” she announced, “How did you meet?”

He frowned at her through a mouthful of food.

“You and Vraska,” Chandra elaborated, “How did that happen?”

He swallowed heavily.

“I’m not sure I want to share any more details of my personal life with you after-after what happened last week,” he confessed, “You’ll just use it to incriminate me.”

She kicked her feet a little. Yeah, that was fair.

“What if I promise not to?” she said, “I won’t tell anyone, not even Nissa and Gids.”

He still didn’t look very comfortable.

“We all promised we weren’t going to talk about what happened with Liliana, yet that happened,” he reminded her, “What’s to say it won’t happen again in the heat of the moment?”

Chandra leaned against the arm rest of her chair with a sigh. Yeah they had promised and she did feel kind of bad about that. She hadn’t planned to yell at Jace like that, but after he’d been so rude about her... Well, she’d kind of started it due to the fact he wasn’t confessing to anything. It was kind of her fault, but she didn’t want to admit that. Still, the last week or so had been impossibly dull with everyone tiptoeing around each other. Gideon and Nissa had tried to lighten the mood but they just weren’t very good at it. What was the point of coming to work if you couldn’t chat?

“I shouldn’t have brought up Liliana,” she said, leaning her face in her hand and her elbow on the armrest.

“It was a dick move. I just wanted you to admit to something.”

Jace turned to face her properly now.

“Bringing up your past vandalism was also somewhat of a terrible move,” he replied, “I felt like the competition had changed into who could demean the other the most. It wasn’t appropriate.”

“Yeah, you’re kind of my manager,” Chandra admitted, “I’m surprised you didn’t fire me.”

“I don’t want to fire anyone,” said Jace, “I like how our team is. Being uncomfortable with people you know is better than being uncomfortable around strangers.”

Chandra pulled a face. She didn’t like how he’d resolved to be uncomfortable regardless. No one needed to feel uncomfortable every time they got into work. Gods damn it Jace, why did he feel the need to hurt himself just to keep things running the way they were?

“Look,” she said, trying and failing not to sound irritable, “You don’t have to feel like shit just to make the rest of us happier. That’s not how being a team works, even I know that.”

She swung one leg over the other as she sat up a little straighter.

“I’m sorry for bringing up Liliana. I was wrong. It’s just… we never talk about her despite the fact she affected all of us. I guess it just came out because of that.”

Jace put down his food.

“I’m sorry for bringing up the things you’re ashamed about too,” he said, “And you’re right, we haven’t really. I-I’ve been trying to forget about her honestly but it hasn’t worked.”

“Bottling everything up never works,” Chandra exclaimed, “Seriously, why do people do that? Life would just be so much easier if everyone spoke about their feelings all the time! It works for me!”

She scooted a little closer to him.

“Then how do you feel about her?” Jace asked, “I know Nissa avoided her at all costs. Gideon challenged her head on. But you two just seemed to get along.”

“We did,” Chandra sighed, “This is going to sound really weird to you, but I miss her a lot. I know she hurt you. And I know she made Nissa really uneasy. And she was super patronising to Gids. However, she wasn’t like that with me at all. She was really nice, supportive, she encouraged me to do the things I like to do. We went out after work, shopping, for drinks, that sort of thing. She gave really good advice. She was kind of like the big sister I’ve never had.”

She paused a moment to check his expression. Impassive as ever.

“And that’s why I couldn’t believe all those complaints everyone had about her. She was so nice to me, I thought you guys were just whining about nothing. I was so wrapped up in my own head, I couldn’t believe she was anything but nice to anyone. She was so good to me, she had to be good to everyone else right? I didn’t want to believe she had ulterior motives. But then I saw a picture on her Instagram.”

Jace frowned a little.

“What picture? I didn’t know she had an Instagram.”

She pulled out her phone and wheeled over to him.

“Yeah, she’s pretty popular too. I mean like thousands of followers, probably because she’s hot. She still updates, that’s kind of how I’ve been checking up on her.”

Chandra showed Jace her phone. Liliana did indeed have an Instagram. Jace was presented with a long feed of pictures of Liliana in glamorous locations – night clubs, roof balconies, swimming pools, shopping centres. She was immaculately dressed in every one, head to toe in designer labels and custom dresses. Her make up was always perfect, her nails elaborately painted, displayed against expensive vintages of wine or crystal flutes of champagne. She didn’t seem to be hurting at all for leaving the company. She was a splash of colour – purples, blacks and golds, against the pasty faces of what looked like her bodyguards, just visible in some of the photos. She was clearly living the life of a celebrity. Why had she ever needed to work here in the first place?

“Which picture are you talking about?” Jace asked.

“Got to scroll back a lot,” Chandra said, taking her phone back and hastily scrolling.

“I got to warn you. I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

The further back she scrolled; the less grandiose Liliana’s pictures became. Sure, she was always aesthetically perfect, but her backdrops got less grand. She spent more time in her house, posing in front of the mirror. There were a few where she looked like she was advertising sportswear, posing with only a pair of yoga trousers and a sports bra. There were some rather candid shots of her in her bedroom. Jace recognised the room at once, the black headboard of her bed, the modern yet ornate furniture, the large full-length mirror opposite. He couldn’t help but feel slightly sick. Those weren’t places he ever wanted to see again.

His heart sank as the racy pictures continued. He remembered Liliana’s lingerie phase. She’d become increasingly obsessed with elaborate designer underwear, claiming that she deserved the best that all clothing had to offer. He had no idea she was photographing herself during that time. She could do exactly what she liked, but this parade of pictures was bringing back memories he wished he’d wiped from his mind.

“Here it is,” Chandra announced.

The picture was definitely during her lingerie phase. She was stood in front of her bed, taking a shot in the large mirror. She was posed with one hand on one hip and a smirk on her painted lips. She took up a lot of the picture. Yet as Chandra zoomed in on the photo, Jace’s attention was immediately drawn to the bed behind her.

“Oh please no.” His voice was weak. 

Sure enough there he was. Lying on his side the best he could with his arms still tied to the headboard.

“I saw this,” Chandra said, “I couldn’t believe it at first, so I zoomed in.”

She did so again. Liliana’s high resolution camera had captured his face in more detail than he ever wanted to see himself in.

“You’re crying,” Chandra stated, “You’re barely conscious. What did she do to you?”

Shame settled over Jace so thick and fast, he almost choked on it. He struggled to breath for a moment, taking a sip of his fizzy water before spluttering on it, coughing it over his jacket. Chandra hit him in the back, but that only served to make him cough harder.

“When I saw this,” Chandra continued, “It hit me like never before. I didn’t care what you were into but it was clear it wasn’t that. You genuinely were scared of her. She wasn’t the nice person I thought she was. She put you in that state and then showed that off to her hundreds, if not thousands, of followers? That’s sick. That’s horrible. That’s…”

She cut herself off when she realised that Jace had gone very pale. She instantly flicked the screen of her phone off. The hand holding his bottle of water was shaking.

“I’m sorry,” she said hastily, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I just-just wanted you to know why I changed my mind. I’m sorry for defending her so much in those days. I was wrong. Fuck, I’ll report her, I’ll get the picture taken down. I’m sorry.”

Jace was not ok. He was trying to retreat into the shadows of his hood, but Chandra was too close for that to work. There were tears in his eyes. Shame was radiating off him like heat and he had to put the bottle down before he threw the contents over himself. Chandra immediately felt terrible and cast around for another topic of conversation.

“Vraska!” she proclaimed, “Tell me about Vraska. How did you two meet? What cool stuff have you got up to?”

Jace looked like he appreciated the distraction, but words weren’t coming easy.

“We-we met on a boat,” he managed, “After the-the last summer party.”

“The one you went on holiday after?” Chandra asked. He nodded.

“It-It wasn’t really a holiday. More like an accident,” he said, his voice still very shaky, “Something happened at that party. I-I don’t think anyone remembers it. But it was at the coast, so I must have wandered off and accidentally got on a boat. I woke up on one anyway.”

“That’s pretty wild,” Chandra commented, “Like an accidental adventure! Were you already out at sea when you woke up?”

He nodded, taking deep breaths, trying to steady himself.

“I got up, realised where I was and…and had a look around. It was one of those superyachts you see on TV. Huge, fancy, but this one was absolutely crammed with technology. Tons of computers, wires everywhere, screens on every wall except in the sleeping quarters. I thought maybe it was a pirate radio station, but, the computers weren’t for that.”

“Was it Vraska’s yacht?” Chandra asked. His girlfriend was also super wealthy? The luck of some people!

“No, no she had been lent it,” Jace replied, “And a lot of the tech. Some of it was hers though. She found the place as overwhelming as I did. However her client was ridiculously wealthy and he just let people borrow yachts like it was pocket change.”

Chandra nodded to show she understood. Now Jace was talking, she wasn't going to interrupt. That would just shut him right up.

“An-Anyway,” Jace said, “We spent most of the time out on international waters, occasionally we made land, went to the beach, stocked up on supplies. Vraska and I just…kind of got to know each other whilst we were out there. Turns out we share a lot of interests and, well, a lot of issues. Her self-confidence it pretty much where mine is, down the drain and somewhere deep underground. You-you wouldn’t believe it after how she acted this morning. I think she was putting on a show.”

“Why?” Chandra asked.

“Because I told her that you were being cruel about Liliana and-and, well, she wanted to prove to you, and everyone, that I was capable of holding a healthy relationship. She presented herself as someone not to be messed with to make sure you didn’t do it again. I think she also dressed up partially to gain a bit of confidence in herself. She refuses to believe she’s beautiful but-but did you _see her_?”

“Solid twelve out of ten,” Chandra confirmed, “You should have seen Nissa’s face, she’s so cute when she’s flustered like that”

Jace managed a small smile.

“Are-are you going to ask her out sometime soon?”

Now it was Chandra’s turn to be awkward.

“I don’t know what you mean!”

Jace gave a watery chuckle.

“You have a crush on her, don’t you?” he pressed, “I can see the way you look at her. Like she’s the most beautiful person you’ve seen in your whole life. That you’d do anything just to see her smile. I know that look, I’ve done it enough times myself.”

Chandra felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

“Am I really that obvious?”

He nodded.

“Fuck,” Chandra leant back and her chair creaked at the force of it.

“I was going to do it at the summer party, but I can’t even remember if I tried,” she said, “Don’t want to overwhelm her by coming out with it unprepared. There’s got to be a mood, you know?”

“Why not take her out somewhere?” Jace suggested, “Like those gardens near Ghirapur Uni? I don’t think the dinosaurs got that far.”

Chandra looked at him as if she was seeing him in a new light.

“You’re a genius! She loves quiet places and nature stuff! That’s perfect!”

He looked happy at being able to help her, his expression a little less ashamed than it had been a few moments ago.

“Vraska and I took a picnic there, it’s really nice when the sun’s out.”

Chandra nodded, picking her phone back up and immediately taking notes. As she jotted down the gardens and the fact they could have a picnic there, she suddenly realised something was missing.

“Er, shouldn’t Gids and Nissa be back by now?” she said, glancing at the door, “Do you think they got locked out?”

Jace nodded and shakily got to his feet. He went and tried the door again. Still no luck. He came and sat back down, his head in his hands. Despite Chandra’s best attempts to distract him, he was still trembling from head to foot, his hands clenching and unclenching as he willed himself to breathe.

“I think we should text them,” said Chandra, “You’ve got Gideon’s number right?”

He nodded.

\---

“Did you tell them to do this?!” Ral yelled at Jace, storming into the office, toolkit in one hand, Gideon and Nissa close behind him.

At the bang of the door finally opening, Jace jumped so hard he almost fell out of his chair. He caught himself on the desk but attempted to wheel back into his corner. He wasn’t in a fit state to have a row with anyone right now. He’d probably just take whatever insults were thrown at him as truth. Understanding this, Chandra immediately inserted herself between the managers. She jabbed a finger at Ral as he attempted to glare straight over her head.

“He’s having a shitty afternoon so watch your tongue Zarek!” she said, “Stuff’s happened since last you came here so don’t go shouting the place down!”

Gideon and Nissa exchanged a look of surprise as Ral focused his attention on Chandra instead.

“Who are you again?”

Chandra scowled at him, the faint scent of burning wafted through the room.

“Chandra Nalaar, Gatewatch. You and your team got us stuck in our office over lunch, and you’ve been real asses to us all day just because you can’t handle coming second at a pub quiz. You know we have camera in here right? You admitted you were being petty right in front of them. How about I find that and send it to HR?”

There was a staring match between Ral and the much shorter Chandra. She stood, hands on her hips, glaring up at him, her eyes flickering red with the intensity of her gaze. He stared back down at her, a dim crackle of electricity dancing across one of the white streaks in his hair. Gideon and Nissa watched the exchange like it was about to come to blows. Ral took a step forward. Chandra took a step forward. Ral’s expensive looking trainers rubbed against Chandra’s beat up sports shoes. Chandra’s hair started to faintly glow.

_“Ral, what are you doing?”_

An unfamiliar voice broke the tension. Everyone turned to stare at Jace, who was holding up his phone. On the screen was a young bespectacled man in a crisp black suit. He was clearly holding his own phone for the video call.

“Err, hi, Tomik,” said Ral, “How’s your day?”

“ _Lovely thank you,_ ” replied Tomik, “ _How is yours? I heard you’re getting salty about those silly pub quizzes again?”_

Ral made a non-committal noise in the back of this throat.

 _“Why don’t you let Jace and his team get back to work_?” Tomik suggested, _“And we’ll chat all about it later.”_

Ral nodded and turned back to the door.

 _“Oh and Ral!_ ” Tomik called. Ral swiftly turned back.

“ _I stopped by_ Lace and Moonglove _on my lunchbreak today. I might show you what I bought when you get back.”_

Both Ral and Jace went rather pink at that. Everyone else in the room just looked faintly confused.

 _“I’ll see you later then!_ ” Tomik said cheerily, waving at the camera.

“See you later,” Ral replied, “Got to get back to work.”

And with that, the Head of R&D left the office, leaving a rather stunned silence in his wake. Jace immediately turned his phone back round.

“Thank you Tomik,” he said softly, “You’re a lifesaver.”

Everyone could hear quiet laughter from the phone.

“ _Any time. Do you want to try the new Wavecrasher raid when it releases on Friday? Vraska’s more than welcome too.”_

“I’ll ask her later, but count me in.”

 _“Alright, speak to you soon! Bye!_ ” There was a beep as Tomik hung up.

Jace put his phone down and turned to look at the rest of the office. They were now all staring at him.

“He’s Ral’s boyfriend,” he explained quietly, “We met online.”

The door to their office remained open for the rest of the day. Health, safety and security be damned, they weren’t going to let the door stop them from getting home when the time came. The general feeling in the office was extremely different from what it had been this morning. Nissa seemed more visibly relaxed, as did Gideon. The other two could only guess what had transpired whilst the pair were locked out, but it appeared the tension had finally broke and all were able to settle into a more relaxed environment. Chandra was also noticeably calmer. She kept glancing over at Jace, secretly returning to Instagram on her phone to get that picture reported. Their manager was still a nervous wreck. He kept dropping things throughout the afternoon and barely spoke to anyone. However, he was at least not arguing with Chandra anymore, which could only be a plus. The two had definitely reached an understanding. He assured her that he would be fine eventually. He just needed some time to himself.

It surprised no one therefore, that Jace did not turn up to work the next day. A email from HR informed them that he’d taken the day off. That however wasn’t the most surprising thing to greet them as they filed into the office.

Atop Chandra’s desk was a brightly coloured box. It stuck out in the office with its riot of colour - tiger striped on one side and leopard spotted on the top. She hurried over to have a look at it and promptly gasped at the display of twelve fresh doughnuts, all neatly presented in their selection box, each iced in a different animal pattern. A guide on the side of the box introduced all twelve different flavours and proclaimed them to have been freshly made to order that morning. Atop the box was a neat square envelope, pearly grey and slightly plain compared to the doughnuts. As Gideon and Nissa gathered to see what the excitement was about, Chandra took the card out of its envelope, slightly confused at the gesture. It was nowhere near her birthday, or any other sort of festival. Besides, she could give it a go, but this was too many doughnuts to eat by herself. Fortunately, it looked like she didn’t have to. The card featured a simple yet elegant design, the metallic golden letters spelling “Thank you” on a matte black background. Chandra flipped it open and read aloud,

**“Dear Gatewatch,**

**I feel like we might have got off on the wrong foot yesterday. I must apologise, and admit, my impulse to protect Jace from those who may harm him, may have spurred me to be a little overly-dramatic. I did not wish you to doubt his ability to love and be loved, despite all that has happened between him and certain members of your team in the past. I apologise to anyone made uncomfortable by our public display of affection, but remind you to reconsider your words next time you wish to insult my boyfriend.**

**Chandra. Despite the wretched state he came home in last night, I am grateful for the honesty and efforts you made to patch up the differences between you. Jace would like you to know, in case he didn’t make himself clear, that he has forgiven you and in turn accepts your apology. I can guarantee that certain social media postings no longer exist. Neither do certain accounts.**

**I thank you all for providing Jace with company and support over the last few years, which have understandably been very difficult for him. Please take these treats as a token of my gratitude for being there for him when I was not.**

**Kind regards,**

**Vraska.”**

Chandra looked up at the other two. She checked the envelope and box of doughnuts again. There was no address, no postal marks, no signs that this had been through reception or any form of delivery.

“She put these here herself,” Chandra commented, staring back at the letter, “How did she get back in?”

She read through the letter again, this time only to herself. Taking her phone out of her pocket, Chandra tapped into Instagram and immediately noticed something was missing. Liliana’s account. Liliana’s whole Instagram account was gone. Not a photo, not a like, her entire profile was gone. It was like she’d never joined up in the first place. Vraska wasn’t joking. That post and the account certainly didn’t exist anymore. However, there was no way an account got reported and deleted that quickly. Add that to the woman’s flagrant disregard for their security, and the story about the tech-filled boat, Chandra was beginning to put two and two together

“Err, guys,” she said, “I think Jace’s girlfriend is a hacker.”

They stared at her as if this week couldn’t possibly get any weirder.

“I mean it, I think she hacked into our security, that’s how she got in.”

“I feel like we should report this to someone,” said Gideon, with a frown. Chandra shrugged.

“She bought us doughnuts,” she reasoned, “And she was just here to look after Jace. She can’t be up to anything that bad.”

Gideon shrugged. That was fair. They were really fancy doughnuts and with Jace out, they got to have four each. It was clear that Vraska knew the cost of their silence. That cost, being plenty of doughnuts. 


	3. Inspector Dovin's Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's evaluation time for the Gatewatch team. Yet this new inspector isn't all he seems.

Three things were wrong when everyone got into work that day.

One. Jace was wearing a shirt. They didn’t have a dress code in their office. As customers never saw their faces, they were free to come into work in casual clothing – as long as they weren’t indecent pretty much anything was fine. Jace’s usual attire was a t-shirt and jeans, always covered by his favourite overly-large hooded jacket. However, when Chandra and Gideon arrived together that morning, they couldn’t help but stare. Jace was still in skinny jeans. That much hadn’t changed. However, over the top he wore a baby blue button up shirt, which at first looked like it was spotted, but a closer look revealed it was embroidered with tiny dinosaurs. It suited him. The tailored cut made him look slim and the short sleeves revealed the swirling tattoos about his arms. In such smart attire, he looked less like a mopey teenager and more like their manager. Chandra gasped in surprise as Jace took a step backwards towards the whiteboard he’d wheeled out from Liliana’s desk.

Secondly, the whiteboard was out. The whiteboard only came out when they were being forced to do some mind-numbing activity under the threat of HR. Either that or the annual Secret Santa announcement. It now stood pride of place in the middle of the room, wiped clean and ready for use. Gideon had to squeeze round it to get to his desk. As he pushed it lightly aside it gave an ominous creak. One of the pens fell on the carpet with a soft thump and Gideon stared at it as if he’d never seen the stationary before. It would be correct to say that he hadn’t. All the pens on the board were brand new. In fact, a lot of the stationary around the room was brand new. The desks had been polished. The screens wiped. The carpet hoovered.

And thirdly, there was a man in their biscuit cupboard.

“Aah!” exclaimed Nissa, as she tried to fetch herself a teabag. She drew everyone’s attention as she scrambled back from the cupboard in alarm.

“Sssh,” said the man in the cupboard, before silently closing the door once more.

Nissa turned to Jace, eyes wide, ears quivering.

Jace swallowed, gripped his lanyard, and took her place before the supply cabinet. He opened up the door, looking much more authoritative in his new shirt. As soon as his position was exposed again, the man inside sighed loudly.

“Dack Fayden? Jace asked.

The man blinked up at him.

“Yeah?”

Jace kept a tight grip on the door so he couldn’t pull it closed again.

“Why are you in our cupboard?”

Dack Fayden was a member of R&D, working directly under Ral and alongside Saheeli, who truly deserved better colleagues. Anyone who passed through R&D knew that Dack was a thief. He preferred ‘ex-thief’ or ‘professional security tester’, but his role in the company was the same regardless. Planar Gate created security products – locks, doors, gates, hatches, safes, and they always needed someone to test them. Thus they had hired Dack to try and break every prototype that passed through R&D. Ral disliked him immensely, mostly because Dack kept breaking things that weren’t meant to be broken – like the fridge, Ral’s drawers, and the fire exit door. Jace was just glad he didn’t have a team member like that. Gideon had bent a few door handles but those had been accidental.

“No reason,” Dack shrugged, leaning back against their spare printer paper.

“What did you do this time?” Jace replied. He glanced over his shoulder as Gideon came over to have a look at what was going on. Chandra was unsubtly kneeling on her chair, using the extra height to watch over the desks.

“Who said I did anything,” said Dack, running a hand over his face. It came back slightly stained with brown powder.

“If you hadn’t done something, you wouldn’t be hiding,” Gideon informed him.

“You’ve angered Ral again, haven’t you?” Jace sighed.

Dack grimaced.

“Yeah, ok, maybe. But Daretti said it would hilarious.”

When no one took that as an excuse he continued:

“Ral’s got this thing with going to the gym lately. Apparently his boyfriend admired some bulky guy in a video game and now he feels like he needs better abs. He’s even started drinking this foul smelling protein drink, it’s utterly stunk up our fridge.”

He wrinkled his nose as if the smell was affecting him even now.

“So, as the stuff is brown, I had an idea. Why not throw out the protein junk and replace it with chocolate milkshake powder? It’s essentially the same thing, it smells nicer, and hey, milkshake!”

He looked at them as if that justified everything.

“He’s going to be so mad,” Jace groaned, “And he’s going to come up here looking for you, and blame it _all_ on me.”

Dack frowned.

“Didn't you sort out all that out after the summer party?”

Jace mumbled something under his breath.

“What are you talking about?” Gideon asked. A broad grin spread over Dack’s face as he looked between the embarrassed Jace and the perturbed look on Gideon’s face.

“Oh ho,” he exclaimed, “You don’t know? Well, why don’t _you_ -“

He spoke directly to Jace.

“Let me stay in this cupboard. I don’t tell your team what you got up to at that summer party.”

“We all know what Jace gets up to at summer parties,” said Nissa, quite matter of factly. Jace blushed pink at her words. Dack looked very disappointed.

“Well why don’t _I_ share the saucy details of what _I_ know. And you can share-“

Jace closed the cupboard in his face.

“Vraska said I didn’t have to put up with this,” he replied, “So I’m not. Everyone round the board please.”

He was even acting like a manager? Something was definitely up. Nissa evidently decided to forgo her tea as they wheeled their chairs into the centre of the room. Jace moved to stand before the board, pen in one hand, the other on his hip. He turned his back to them and began to write on the board with large black letters:

**INSPECTION**

Everyone’s hearts collectively sank.

“I got a phonecall from HR this morning,” Jace stated as he turned back to them, “At five o clock in the morning. I was in bed. It wasn’t great.”

“Why is HR up at five in the morning?” asked Chandra.

“Tamiyo has children,” Jace replied, “ _Regardless_ , she told me that there is an inspector currently travelling around our side of the building and today he is coming to inspect us. He’ll be reporting back to her so we have to make sure we have a glowing review.”

“Or we’ll get a visit from Ashiok?” Gideon suggested.

Jace nodded grimly.

“Or we get a visit from Ashiok,” he agreed, “So… the Inspector will be here at ten so let’s set some ground rules.”

Now he had everyone’s rapt attention, he tapped the board with his pen.

“Rule One – If someone in this office has been sleeping with their colleagues _we do not mention it_ ”

Chandra snickered.

“Rule Two,” Jace continued, “I know we don’t get a lot of calls, but we have to at least look like we’re working all day. So that means no magazines, books, or playing games on your phone. We can do all that again tomorrow.”

Gideon put his hand up. Jace looked momentarily taken aback.

“Is there anything we can do to make it look like we’re doing work?” Gideon asked.

Jace frowned.

“Well, you could make up some sort of report on recent calls?” he suggested, “I know we record them all, but you could compile something with them.”

Gideon nodded and jotted that down.

“If anyone needs to get away from their desk whilst still looking busy,” Jace continued, “I guess you could write up some comments and take them to Sales or R&D? Or you could email them as usual. Up to you.”

He took a moment.

“Rule Three,” he stated, “Is that we have to be as happy and optimistic about the company as possible. We can’t say anything bad about our jobs. We can’t mention that we talked about leaving. Apparently HR is very proud that people never leave Planar Gate. It would really annoy them if they learned we’d chatted.”

Everyone nodded in understanding.

“Ok, well, the Inspector will be here in about ten minutes. Get water, or tea, or something and look busy as soon as he arrives.”

Jace started to push the board back behind Liliana’s desk. He stared at the empty space for a moment, before grabbing any personal effects on the desk and shoving them in a drawer. The cardigan finally left the chair after months of being there. The mug also got tucked away, much to Chandra’s annoyance. The few photos stuck to the computer were tossed into the bin before anyone could remind themselves what they contained. However, if Jace didn’t want them there then it was quite evident what they showed.

“Right,” Jace said, “We are a normal hardworking team. We love our jobs. We are great.”

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

The Inspector arrived at exactly ten o clock. No sooner had the hand on the clock reached the hour then their door clicked open to reveal an unfamiliar face. A very tall vedalken in a crisp white suit entered the room, peering at them all over the bridge of his nose. His red eyes instantly narrowed as he took in everyone at their desks. He had a red leather briefcase in one hand, a visitor’s keycard in the other. Jace immediately got up to greet him, crossing the room to be manager.

“You must be Inspector Baan. Welcome to the Help Desk Department.”

He offered Inspector Baan his hand. The inspector looked at it as if Jace was offering him something dirty. He hastily withdrew his hand and cast about for something to say.

“Planar Gate’s Help Desk team is responsible for managing all incoming calls about using the company’s range of products. As you can see, my colleagues and I are ready to man the phones if such a need arises. We have a set routine when taking customer queries. I-I don’t know where you would like to start, but the office is available to you.”

Inspector Baan surveyed the office with an icy stare.

“Very good,” he said. His voice was curt, measured, as if he used no more breath than was entirely necessary.

“Go back to work. I will seek you out for answers if I require them.”

Jace nodded and hastened back to his desk.

To everyone else’s immense relief, Inspector Baan seemed to have chosen Gideon for his first interrogation. He took the chair from Liliana’s desk and moved it over so he was perched at the end of Gideon’s. Out of the briefcase came a wooden clipboard with a gleaming gold clasp. It was filled with blank lined paper. Gideon glanced at him, expecting some sort of question or conversation. However Inspector Baan remained perfectly silent, staring unblinkingly as Gideon started on his time-occupying call report.

For the first time in years, the Gatewatch silently begged their phones to start ringing. The general public was usually a plague on this office, but with a stranger in their midst, there was nothing more that they wanted than a distraction from the silence. Under such scrutiny, they didn’t dare talk. Focusing very intently on whatever looked most like work, they shot nervous glances at their phones every now and again. Praying that maybe someone would have broken a lock, or better, an entire door. Half the room was on the verge of a breakdown by the time they got to eleven. They had no idea what they were being scrutinised for and the Inspector had said absolutely nothing to anyone. Finally, a phonecall came in. Everyone leapt for their phones only to find that it had gone through to Chandra. She picked up the phone and began to recite off their usual script, her customer service voice tinged with genuine happiness at being disturbed.

As she discussed product registration with a customer, Inspector Baan finally spoke. 

“What do you feel is your part within this company?”

Gideon flinched in surprise at finally being addressed. His cleared his throat a little.

“I feel that my role in this company is,” he paused a moment, “Is to be the friendly voice a customer needs when they have a problem with our products. In-In that regards, we are the voice of the entire company, and therefore present ourselves as the professionals they expect.”

“That is an answer, yes.” Inspector Baan replied. He began to write on his clipboard. His writing was so minuscule there was no hopes of Gideon being able to read it without pressing his nose to the board. Behind them, Chandra finished up her phonecall and put down her headset. She started typing loudly as everyone else in the room realised she had actually done some genuine work. Gods damn it, was there a way they could cause an accident somewhere? Let the dinosaurs out again or something? That would get them plenty of phone calls.

If he was aware of the tension in the office, Inspector Baan paid it no mind. He finished writing and looked up at Gideon again.

“What successful contributions have you made to further your department?”

Gideon had to take a moment to consider his answer. With every second he waited, the inspector’s expression grew less and less impressed.

“I started the recycling scheme in our kitchen,” Gideon stated, “We have cut down on rubbish going to refuse by seventy percent compared to last year. We recycle glass, paper, cans, crisp packets and even have a clothing box which I take to the charity shop round the corner.”

Inspector Baan wrote all this down with no comment.

Gideon glanced over at Nissa, who was trying to be subtle in the fact she was watching them. Nissa scrunched up a ball of paper in her hands and then started unfolding it flat again.

The next ten minutes of silence felt like an age. Jace spent most of it in the bathroom. Nissa tried to offer the Inspector a cup of tea but he merely ignored her. Chandra got irritable that Nissa was being ignored, but Gideon shot her a warning look before she said anything. Jace returned to find that the tension had ramped up into a palpable mixture of awkwardness and irritation from all sides. He swallowed heavily and sat back down, trying desperately to pretend this was normal.

Inspector Baan tapped his pen against the clipboard with a knocking sound that reminded them of cold callers at the front door. Gideon turned to look at him.

“Have you considered that your hero-complex may prove detrimental to the personal growth of your colleagues?”

Gideon’s mouth fell open.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me quite clearly.”

Everyone stared as Gideon floundered for a response. Inspector Baan made notes whilst he stared at him in shock.

“Clearly not.”

Inspector Baan got to his feet. Without another word to the gawping Gideon, he pushed the chair along the room to the side of Chandra’s desk. She watched him approach with growing trepidation, before swiftly going back to her call report. Inspector Baan wordlessly sat at the end of her desk as well. Gideon kept on looking over his shoulder to stare at him, however it seemed the intruder neither cared to, nor desired to make any sort of comment about that last question. The office lapsed back into torturous silence. Either Planar Gate products were just so good no one wanted to call them, or something was wrong with their telephones. Any calls, from anyone, would do. For a moment Jace considering leaving the office and phoning one of his team from his mobile, just to give them something to do.

Finally, after about ten minutes of absolute nothing, the inspector spoke again.

“Describe an occasion in which your personal actions have resulted in a success for your team?”

Chandra paused in her typing.

“Well, err, I helped deal with a big case out the back of Emeria Heights, you know, the big fancy shopping centre they got out there? When the fancy jewellery shops got broken into and we had to work with the police to figure out who did it. Lots of phone calls to important people and I did most of them.”

Inspector Baan seemed to be writing all this down. There was no way of truly knowing, since he seemed to write small enough for only ants to read. Across the room, a phone finally rang. It spoke to the terrible atmosphere in the room that Nissa looked thrilled to answer it.

“What are your supply protocols?”

Chandra stared at the inspector as if he was speaking another language.

“Your what-now?”

He let out a heavy sigh as if suddenly plagued by all the world’s woes.

“What is your process for requisitioning and cataloguing supplies?” he elaborated, “What is your order process in regards of office necessities such as stationary and paper?”

“Oh,” said Chandra, “We email the postroom and they bring it down.”

“Do you have a requisition form with which you pertain such items?” The Inspector asked, continuing to write.

“No, we just email the post room,” Chandra repeated, “Like I said. We send an email, they bring it down, easy.”

Inspector Baan shook his head, as if some terrible tragedy was occurring right before his eyes. He shook his pen a little before drawing an immeasurably precise line under his current notes, and starting another paragraph.

“Which,” he questioned, “ Out of your high energy, destructive tendencies and poor emotional management, do you feel impacts you most during the working day?”

Chandra’s hair was instantly aflame. At the sound of it whooshing into ignition, Gideon pre-emptively got up to man the smoke alarm. Inspector Baan pushed his chair back a little but otherwise remained utterly impassive.

“So which is it?” he prompted.

Chandra ground her teeth together.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” she growled.

Inspector Baan raised an eyebrow at her.

“I am here to inspect your work and workplace environment. As an inspector, it is exactly my business.”

“And how is _that_ to do with work?” Chandra retorted.

“I am here to identify all points of influence, success, failure and improvement,” Inspector Baan had the nerve to sound happy about that.

“I have identified your failings. Now I am giving you a chance to process them.”

Chandra’s hair crackled ominously. Gideon flapped at the fire alarm. Jace opened a window. Nissa would have no doubt sprung to action if she wasn’t glaring daggers at the back of the Inspector’s head.

“Well I still don’t think its any of your business,” Chanda replied crossly, “What I may or may not be doesn’t affect my ability to do this job, so keep your mouth shut.”

Jace winced but could say nothing as nspector Baan made more notes.

“There is no reason to be angered by what I am doing,” he told Chandra, “It is not my fault that you simply have so many flaws.”

There was a clatter as Nissa knocked her empty mug on the floor. Gideon flapped his hand at the fire alarm in earnest as Chandra’s hair leapt into a foot-high pillar of flame. She made to open her mouth but the inspector got there first.

“Our business is concluded.”

He got up off his chair, not pausing for any protests she might have, and moved it across the room to sit beside Jace’s desk. He watched him coming with a look of grim determination on his face. Somewhere outside the building, a clock chimed twelve. Gods, this day had gone so immeasurably slowly and they hadn’t even reached the afternoon yet!

Whilst the inspector stared intently at Jace, Gideon shot an email round to the other members of the team. It turned out, as soon as the inspector was on the other side of the room, he’d started Googling who the man was. Turns out that Dovin Baan was a ‘Private Inspector’ for hire by big name corporations. His list of clients was long and impressive, however his list of complaints were even bigger. CEOs, Departmental Heads, HR representatives and other such figures of authority left him glowing reviews which he displayed on his boring but modern website. However, as soon as you clicked on Gideon’s links to certain pages on AetherHub and certain tags on myworkplacenightmare.com, his name was splashed everywhere in utmost horror. The man had a reputation not for just looking at how employees worked, but psychoanalysing them right down to whether they had been favoured by their mother or father as a child. The man was a menace to society – utterly committed to his job and unable to be bribed, tricked or even threatened out of doing his job. He enjoyed nothing more than forcing his own self-righteous workplace ethic on others, and valued nothing higher than textbook competency. Chandra shot back an email of disgust and outrage as the inspector asked Jace:

“Where do you keep your process notes?”

Jace reached under his desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a large white plastic folder. They hadn’t had a new employee for over five years but they did have notes if they needed them. The sheer amount of evidence in front of him meant that Inspector Baan couldn’t even make a scathing comment about it. Jace went back to his work.

However the inspector would not be kept silent for long.

“As the manager to this team, what do you consider the greatest challenge to your work?”

Jace pushed back his keyboard and turned in his chair, arms crossed.

“Interruptions from visitors and other departments,” he stated, “My team just wants to do their job and not get interrupted by people bringing their drama into our room.”

Inspector Baan appeared to be writing this all down. He didn’t look up as he said:

“And does your dangerous lack of self-esteem and reliance upon the praise of others get in the way of your managerial role?”

Jace took a deep breath and swallowed.

“No,” he said coldly, “It doesn’t. And though you may not feel like you are, please do not antagonise my team. I don’t believe Tamiyo let you in here just so you can declare our flaws out for everyone else to hear. These things are usually handled privately.”

Inspector Baan appeared to consider him for a moment. He got to his feet, unblinking gaze still fixed upon Jace.

“As I said to your colleague,” he said, “It is not my fault that your team has so many flaws. If you don’t want to have your flaws openly declared, then may I suggest some self-improvement? What is there to declare if you don’t have any?”

Jace scowled.

“All people have flaws,” he replied, “It’s what makes us people. Shaming us for our flaws, especially when they only affect us out of work, is both unprofessional and bullying.”

“If that is your opinion,” said the Inspector, “Then you are entitled to have it.”

With that infuriatingly neutral statement, he turned to face Nissa.

The elf’s hands were balled into fists. Her ears shook and her mug still lay on the floor, shaking slightly as she trembled in her seat. She wasn’t scared however, far from it. She was past apprehension and had moved fully onto rage. The last time they had seen Nissa this livid, she’d shouted a customer to tears and then broke the door to the ladies’ bathroom. Inspector Dovin was not going to get out of this unscathed. And even if they wanted to see her let loose her collection of plot plants on him, Tamiyo would probably disagree.

“What are-“ The inspector began

Jace jumped up from his seat

“Oh would you look at the time!” he exclaimed, “It’s twelve-thirty!”

He drew every eye in the office.

“And-and it’s the twenty-first! So you know what that means! Our monthly team lunch!”

His eyes flashed blue and they heard his voice in their minds.

_“Go along with this or gods help me.”_

“Oh yes!” Gideon said immediately, “We can finally try out that new sandwich place we were talking about last week.”

They could, and they hadn’t mentioned it all last week or any time.

“I want a sub!” Chandra exclaimed, getting to her feet and grabbing her bomber jacket off the top of a nearby filing cabinet. Inspector Baan stared unblinkingly around at all of them as they grabbed their various bags and coats.

“Its an office tradition,” Jace lied, “For a sense of team cohesion, I’m sure you understand.”

Dovin said nothing.

“If you’d like, you can take this as your lunch break,” Gideon suggested, “I recommend the health food place next to the park – great for getting you through the afternoon.”

“I have packed my own lunch,” said the inspector, “I will be here when you return from your team meal.”

Once it had become obvious that they had got away with their deception, the Gatecrash crew barrelled out of their office. Not a single person remembered that someone was meant to stay behind to watch the phones, so eager were they to be out. Ten minutes later, they were ensconced in the back of a sandwich shop, all crammed into the same diner-style booth, waiting for their food to arrive.

“That man has empathy problems and should not be allowed authority in the workplace,” Gideon commented, over his large glass of diet lemonade. There was a general murmur of agreement around the table.

“I would like him to die in a fire,” Nissa stated. Chandra’s eyes lit up.

“I can do that for you!” she exclaimed, hair already smoking. 

“That would be murder,” Jace reminded them, “But I agree. I want him gone from our office, preferably the entire building.”

“Fire does that,” Chandra reasoned, however she went back to her milkshake at the sight of his frown.

“Surely we have justification for expelling him,” Gideon stated, “He’s not acting in an office-appropriate manner.”

“It’s him or the wrath of HR,” Jace replied, “Though I’m in half a mind to ring Tamiyo and ask what she’s thinking.”

“She is not unreasonable,” Nissa said, “I think you should.”

It seemed that was all the persuasion Jace needed. The wrath of HR was fearsome indeed. It was no secret that they had members of their team specialised in intimidating unruly employees. If you hadn’t done anything wrong, you’d never have to meet them. However, there were always horror stories exchanged at staff parties about what happened if you got on Tamiyo’s bad side. If they needed help, the Gatewatch usually got in contact with Ajani, or visa versa. Tamiyo held meetings for the managers, and Nissa would occasionally meet with Narset as their Accessibility in the Workplace official. Those three were perfectly pleasant to deal with. Though they were going to have ask R&D about their last meeting with Ashiok sometime.

Jace took out his phone and opened his recent calls. Indeed, at 5:25 am, he had a call from Tamiyo. No one decided to comment on the fact that every other call on the screen was to or from Vraska, instead they craned in as he started the call and put the phone on speaker.

There was a discordant drone of the call connecting before:

“Hello? Jace, what is it?”

“Good afternoon,” Jace replied, “Do you have a moment? I need to talk to you, I’m afraid it’s urgent.”

“I have a moment for urgency,” Tamiyo replied. There were the distinct sounds of footfalls around her, and the clatter of filing cabinets being opened and closed. Somewhere else in her office, another phone rang and a voice said ‘HR, can I help you?’

“The Inspector,” Jace said, getting straight to the point, “Inspector Baan. He’s been completely inappropriate with my team. I was under the instruction that he was here to observe, not personally insult us all.”

There was a pause from the other end.

“I recorded him on my phone,” Gideon added.

There was a sigh.

“Hi Gideon,” said Tamiyo, “Yes, I meant to call you about him. I’ve only just got out of my meeting with senior management and it appears something immensely concerning has happened involvinb Inspector Baan.”

“What is it?” Jace asked.

“I spent this morning in a _long_ meeting with Teferi,” Tamiyo began, “His daughter just got her PhD so he was more inclined to talk about that than anything else. However, I eventually – _no, Teyo, not now I’m on the phone_ – excuse me.”

There was a small clatter of her putting her phone down.

“Sorry about that. Anyway, I had this meeting with Teferi, and brought up the recent inspections and what a negative impact they were having on employees. To my surprise, he had no recollection of ever ordering these inspections, or any idea of who the man even is.”

“What?!” Chandra exclaimed.

“Indeed,” Tamiyo continued, “I showed him the email he sent to me explaining the inspections, and he didn’t even recall sending it. So we went up to his office – _Sarkhan, please put that over there, I’m on the phone_ – and went onto his office pc. It hadn’t come from him. We called IT in on the matter and they traced the email to Karn’s office.”

“Isn’t Karn abroad right now?” Jace queried.

“He is,” Tamiyo confirmed, “Which makes it even more concerning that someone went on his computer, logged into Teferi’s account, and then sent an email to HR. According to security – _thank you Ajani –_ no one has been in that office since Karn left, not even the cleaners, but the computer was left on.”

“Hacked then,” Jace sighed. There was the sound of Tamiyo cracking the lid off a disposable coffee cup.

“Yes. Which leads us to a dire situation regarding security. However, regarding the Inspector – he leaves us in a precarious situation.”

“Can’t security just come get him?” Gideon suggested.

“Even if he isn’t reporting back to us,” Tamiyo explained, “He can easily report to the press. We need to get him to leave in a fashion that does not look bad for the company. So you lot have a choice – you can be that force and I’ll turn a blind eye. Or, you can endure him for the next two days and someone else can get rid of him.”

Two more days of that?!

“We’ll find a way,” Jace promised, before his team could even weigh in, “We’ll get rid of him as soon as possible.”

“Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

She hung up.

Jace let out a long sigh as everyone stared at the phone screen, which had turned into a wallpaper of a tropical beach lined with palm trees.

“It’s up to us then,” Gideon concluded, “If we don’t get rid of him, he’ll be passed to another department, who’ll have to endure what we have.”

“We’re going to be heroes,” Chandra agreed, “We just… have to get rid of him in a way that doesn’t get us arrested.”

“Or make the company look bad,” Nissa corrected.

At that moment, their food arrived in the hands of a slightly confused looking waitress. Had she heard their conversation? Better not to ask. Once she was gone, Jace continued:

“From what we’ve gathered, Inspector Baan is a perfectionist, to the point of being neurotic about it. He’s obsessed with detail and order. Though I don’t approve of this kind of, well, bullying, we should provide the exact opposite of that. With the purpose of drive him out.”

“So chaos then,” Chandra replied, “Chaos that won’t look badly on the company, but still chaos!”

“Yes, we need to be unpredictable,” Jace said, “Sporadic, frustrating, we need to do things and then deny we’ve ever done them. We need to drive him to the point his perfectionism won’t allow him to be in the same room with us.”

There was a pause so they could eat before their food got cold. There was no point spending the team entertainment budget on lunch if they didn’t get to eat said lunch. This however did give a welcome moment to consider what ‘chaos’ might mean in this given situation. It was concerning that management had been hacked, but that wasn’t a job for the company Help Desk team. They were sure that between management, IT and HR, they would come up with a solution to the problem. They had their task already, there was no point worrying about any other.

“I would like to coordinate our efforts,” said Jace, “But that defies the point of chaos.”

“So what do we do?” Gideon asked, wiping his face off on a paper napkin.

“Just really get on his nerves in your own way!” exclaimed Chandra, “Be erratic, spontaneous, catch him when he’s distracted, but in a totally innocent way.”

Nissa raised her hand.

“Yes?” Jace replied.

“Can we use our abilities?” Nissa asked. There was a general murmur around the table as if she’d said something inspirational.

“Yes,” said Jace, “Just… no one tell HR.”

Inspector Baan was waiting for them when they returned from lunch. They sat down, put their headsets back on, and resumed staring very intently at their computer screens. With no concrete plan, they were each forced to improvise in their methods. With no way to know what the others were about to do, they were flying by the seat of their trousers. Chandra returned excited, though the others were more apprehensive that thrilled by the possibility. Inspector Baan took his place, watching over Nissa like a particularly judgemental hawk. Yet every time he went to open his mouth, he turned his head, suddenly lost for words. Nissa would pointedly ignore him, not even looking in his direction as he was constantly distracted by something. Yet, even the rest of the team couldn’t work out what kept grabbing the inspector’s attention. And it seemed, neither could he.

“What-“

Dovin stopped talking before he could even get his question out. His gaze was fixed on the innocent row of pot plants placed on the shelf above Nissa’s desk. Each of her plants was contained in its own personalised ceramic pot, with matching trays and hand painted labels to show each’s name – both scientific and personal. The largest pot plant – a bonsai named Ashaya – seemed to have attracted Dovin’s attention. He eyed it for a moment before returning his attention to Nissa.

“How-“

His head moved so fast his neck gave an audible click.

“That miniature tree is moving!” he proclaimed. Everyone’s attention was immediately on Ashaya as Nissa replied, very calmly.

“It is a plant Inspector, it cannot move by itself.”

She went back to typing something on her computer. What, they had no idea. Inspector Baan mumbled something to himself and went back to his observations. He scribbled something down on his clipboard before opening his mouth for another question.

“Where-“

He turned just in time to see the last leaf settle back into place. Now they knew what to look for, the others had caught it too. Ashaya, and some of their friends, were shifting in their pots.

“That plant is mobile,” Inspector Dovin accused, pointing one long finger at it.

“It’s still a plant,” Nissa told him, “Are you in good health Inspector? Perhaps you should make yourself a cup of tea to calm yourself.”

Dovin frowned. Instead of gracing her with an answer, he got to his feet and wheeled his chair back across the room towards Liliana’s vacant desk. There he set his clipboard and turned so he could observe the room at large.

Then a pigeon flew in through the window.

There were cries of surprise from around the room as the small grey bird began to strut up and down the carpet. Gideon got to his feet and advanced on the bird, flapping his hands at it in an attempt to get it back towards the window. The bird however led him on a merry chase around the room – flying around at head height, knocking files off cabinets and getting caught in the vestiges of last Christmas’ paper chains. Inspector Dovin watched on, open mouthed, as Gideon picked up a wad of paper and flapped it at the bird, forcing it back towards the window with much frantic cooing. Finally it was gone, winging its way out of sight as Gideon tried to fix up everything that had been knocked over.

“Oh dear,” said Jace, “That was… unexpected. On inspection day no less! What a terrible coincidence.”

Overhead, the fire alarm beeped. Gideon looked up at it with arms full of folders. Inspector Dovin also looked at it.

“Hope there’s no feathers in there,” commented Gideon, “That would be a health and safety hazard if ever I saw one.”

He then proceeded to do nothing about it.

Inspector Baan looked like he’d just been physically wounded as the fire alarm let off another low beep. He watched as Gideon went around, picking up papers and folders. Whilst he put everything back where it belonged, there was a certain carelessness to his stacking that certainly wouldn’t go unnoticed. Some folders were put back upside down. Some were placed back just out of alphabetical order. Others were simply left in a pile on Liliana’s desk, right next to the twitching inspector. Whilst Gideon made his tour of the office, the fire alarm heralded his progress with the occasional beep. It wasn’t a measured or methodical noise. There was no fixed interval between the noises. Just when you thought it had stopped, lo and behold, another beep. The inspector was looking around the room, as if one of them had some sort of remote control for the device. But everyone was busy ‘working’ – not a hair out of place.

Chandra’s phone rang an hour after lunch. The fire alarm was suspiciously quiet during this time, causing Dovin to gravitate over to her desk. Yet no sooner had he put his clipboard on the end of the table, than thete was a disgusting sticky sound of something squishing onto the table. He lifted the clipboard to find the underside covered in transparent glue. He opened his mouth to say something about this, but Chandra was still talking away on the phone.

The situation did not improve for the Inspector as the afternoon went on. The fire alarm kept on beeping, making him visibly flinch. A pigeon, if not the same pigeon, made a racket outside their window. But when Dovin went to shut it, there was no pigeon in sight. Gideon knocked his water all over his desk in a bout of unexpected clumsiness whilst Nissa made the room smell like whatever floral concoction she was drinking. Which was pleasant but extremely over-powering. Every time the Inspector went to make an objection, she asked him if he would like a cup of tea. Soon Chandra was doing it too and Jace decided to remain to oblivious to everything his team was doing – even taking the chance to wander off to Marketing to give them free reign.

By the time he returned, Dovin was visibly sweating. He approached Jace like a man in desperate need of reassurance.

“Is this normal operating procedure?” he asked of Jace, “Records indicate that your team has a resounding success rate, but I cannot fathom how such an achievement could come from such a disorganised, frankly unsafe and thoroughly un-professional-“

Jace raised an eyebrow at him.

“If we get the results, and don’t break any codes of conduct, who are you to say we’re unprofessional?”

Dovin’s jaw clenched. The fire alarm beeped. He scowled.

“By all conceivable metrics, this place is –“

Jace interrupted him.

“I think Nissa is right. It’s been a long day and you’re clearly stressed out. We’ve got plenty of tea and biscuits to go round. Why don’t you take a moment and get what you need? I insist.”

He stood his ground, smiling pleasantly at the inspector until Dovin turned on his heel and walked in the proffered direction .He strode across the office with a huff that sounded something like ‘fine’ as Jace sat back at his desk. Nissa hung up on her call just Dovin made a noise like a broken man.

“There-There is a human male in this cupboard!”

“I’m the biscuit fairy,” proclaimed Dack.

Dovin looked like he was going to have a meltdown. His left eye twitched as he took a step backwards away from the beaming man amongst the printer paper. His hands shook, his chest heaved and his brow was so furrowed he would give himself premature wrinkles. He stood, frozen, for a moment before silently turning one eighty and striding out of the room. The door closed behind him with a solid thunk. There was silence in the office. Not a person stirred. Not a pigeon cooed. Not a fire alarm beeped.

“Ok, now go back to R&D,” ordered Jace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Safe & Secure:  
> It's time to shoot Planar Gate's annual charity calendar. A task made much easier if all the equipment didn't seem to have a life of its own.


End file.
